The Art Of Napping
There are very few things in life that bring me as much comfort as a good old fashion nap. I think most people would agree that dozing off in the middle of the day and waking up disoriented is pretty much the same thing as taking an awesome drug. Sleep is my drug of choice, next to food. There are a few varieties of naps that I think warrant a brief discussion.
The Power Nap – a short, abbreviated, yuppie , snooze in the middle of the day. (Yuppie, because this is the only kind of nap they can fess up to.) This is reserved for movers and shakers, corporate people, etc. Everything is crammed into 20 minutes at which point you wake and feel refreshed. Donald Trump takes power naps. I’m not personally a fan of this nap.
Obviously the power nap.
The Avoiders Nap – this nap involves a purposeful retreat to your bed with the intention of sulking and pretending that you’re very upset (angry, sad, whatever.) The hope is that someone will follow you into the bedroom, sit on the edge of the bed and kindly apologize, say you’re right or at least validate your feelings. When no one shows up you basically drift off and when you wake you are crabby beyond belief. You have now just multiplied your bad feelings by sleeping on them.
The Siesta – you can only take this type of nap in a country that recognizes it as a legitimate nap form. So, basically Spain, which makes me want to move there, but not enough, if I have to eat Paella all the time. I’m just saying…
The Paralyzing Nap – This nap is a planned, I can’t keep my eyes open any longer so I’m crawling in deep between the covers, nap. Sleep comes upon this napper like a two by four to the head. There’s some tingling of limbs from where you are sleeping incorrectly. When the body loses all it’s ability to move and it feels as though you’re flat lining, you have entered the gates of sleep paralysis. This is about the time that you begin drooling. Coming out of this nap is pretty rough, I’m not gonna lie. The last time I had one of these I not only lost track of time, I didn’t know what I was. Seriously, for a moment I forgot I was human. It took time, but I eventually snapped out of it. It was a close call.
Good luck coming out of this one.
In a nutshell, naps are hard to time perfectly and they don’t always provide the desired results. There is definitely a nap continuum. All naps fall somewhere between Power and Paralysis. Oh, and one more thing, naps can be addicting, just ask the country of Spain.
What did I learn about myself from this discussion of naps? That I will always put my need for sleep before anyone else’s well being.
Don’t even start with the napping. I am a napper. I come home from teaching school @ 12 noon-ish. Nobody is home. I immediately go straight to the bed. It’s a vice that I share with others. I’m not ashamed. My name is Marya and I am a napper. And, Lisa, how did you find a photo of me sleeping? That is me! I have become such a napper that I am trying to find a way to wean myself off of this drug abuse. Recently, I have solicited friends in the area to keep me awake by a quick phone call or a tea date at the local coffee shop in the afternoon so I won’t put my head on the pillow. Problem is, I am up at 5 a.m. every morning at the gym…I’m no gym rat…it’s just what I do. I gym, therefore I nap.
You and me sister, it’s a drug. I’ve been strung out on naps to the point that my cat has to slap me in the face to wake me up. I’m a sleep junkie. Luckily, there are no tell tale tracks to give me away. I get up at 5:30, too. No wonder we love our sleep!
Marya,
I’m impressed with your gym routine. Seriously impressed. I’m gonna use you as my motivation to work out in the morning instead of making excuses. Now I know why you always look so good!
When I was pregnant the first time, I read an interesting article on women working in China, written by an American woman who was living there with her husband while he did something that wasn’t interesting enough to cause me to remember. She became pregnant, and, had written this particular article about her pregnancy there, as she was going to only use Chinese doctors. I don’t remember if she knew any Chinese or if she just hoped the facial expression on the doctor would let her know to push. ANYway, the things that caught my eye were some aspects of Chinese obstetrical care (aside from the “Let’s hope it’s a boy!” issue). Firstly, you went in the beginning to make sure you were with child, then, not again until four months–when they asked what you craved. Salt/sour was boy, sweet equated a girl. That formula worked on my pregnancies, and they have a 92% success rate, plus it’s so much cheaper than the other tests. The best thing though, was a law stating once you are pronounced pregnant, you are allowed a three hour nap a day at work. Three hours in the middle of the day!! Heaven!!
Also, I applaud your decision to have a schedule for your Blogging. I looked at that, and immediately began to anticipate what you’d have to say. I’m sure Mondays will provide a great deal of chatter.
I love other countries that make allowances for pregnancy and the birth of a child. In England they let you stay in the hospital for 2 weeks after giving birth, enough time for you to feel like a human being again.
We’ll see how the schedule goes. It made me feel more secure to have one. Weekend potpourri is as loosey goosey as I want to get right now. Haha! Not sure what Monday’s music discussion will be, but hopefully it will be something for everyone.
We definitely need to move to Spain. Or Cancun. Hah I like how you describe that feeling when you wake up from a nap. Are we human? Or are we dancers? Hmm
Haha! I seriously feel like I’m waking up from a coma. Definitely dancer! (I may have to do a blog on those lyrics and get some opinions flying.)
If I move to Spain or Cancun I think I’ll just live in a cabanna on the beach. Sound good?
Ps. In college sometimes power naps are all you have time for between classes!
They can only be called power naps if your powerful, sorry. College students are way too pathetic and desperate, with the exception of law students, they can take a junior power nap.
Addie – Great research on the situation in China. I’m thrilled to see that Communists have such a soft side. (I’m not joking here.) Let’s move to Spain. But then again, I lived in Spain for 16 months and their “siesta” is called “mediodía” (translation: middle of the day). I would wake from from the “Paralyzing Nap” and it would take me a good two hours to get over the coma. There should be a drug invented to help one gracefully get out of the “Paralyzing Nap.” Wait, that’s caffeine.
I remember traveling to England when I was in college and for some reason on this particular trip my jet lag was particularly bad. I slept, solid, for 48 hours. I’m not lying. No bathroom, food, nothing. Just sleep. When I awoke I was 8 lbs thinner.
it was the greatest diet in the world. Now if I could somehow duplicate that experience here at home….hmmm.
Friday, I hadn’t gotten much sleep because I’m currently jobless so I go to bed late and wake up late in the day. Well I went to bed at 5am and woke up at 9am because I had to go to the *shudder* job centre. It got to about half 3 in the afternoon and thought I’d have a quick power nap. But it turned into a paralyzing nap and I ended up waking at half 9 at night. Sleeping pattern screwed.
I hate Siesta’s, I remember going to Spain with my parents when I was naught but a child, every day they’d go to bed in the middle of the afternoon, I was 10, with no toys, colouring books or English television. What the hell was I supposed to do? I just sat there bored for two hours waiting for them to wake up =/
The paralyzing nap is definitely the best though, nothing like feeling absolutely knackered to the point where you feel like dying then finally letting your body touch those bed sheets, your cheeks caress the pillows and drift off into unconsciousness.
Oh! I totally agree. It’s the best, especially in a comfortable bed. I love that feeling.
Yeah, I think Spain, in general, keeps screwy hours. Don’t they eat their dinner at 10 at night? That damn Siesta keeps everyone up too late! I can’t imagine the boredom that you must have experienced as a ten year old, sounds like torture.
Poor Pete : (
They say that keeping to a normal sleep schedule is much better for one’s health. But that would require that my life was normal…so basically, not gonna happen! Haha! We can all be unhealthy together.
I love sleeping, it’s great. I do it on public transport on the way home from work as well – I have missed many a bus stop because of it.
Some people at work probably think I am rude as well. Sometimes I will try to avoid conversation on the train home so I can get some kip. Bog off with your inane small talk, I want my 8 minutes of sleep.
Haha! I’m too afraid to sleep in public, unless I can curl up and turn my head to the wall. I’m scared I’ll start drooling, or snoring or get an ugly face going… heaven forbid!
I’ve done the snorting drooling on some stranger’s shoulder nap on a plane. Took me years of therapy to get past that memory.
Nightmare! I hope the stranger kind and not so handsome that you would be extra mortified. Notice how I conjured up a man?
haha, great post. i like the breakdown. i also do not believe in power naps. 20 minutes is me blinking.
my favorite kind of nap is the kind i take every day, where i spend most of my day in an out of bed (let’s be honest, in) and can’t really differentiate where one day end and the next begins. it sure passes the time.
when i traveled to spain, i took full advantage of the siesta. little breakfast, medium lunch, hour nap, big dinner. a pretty wonderful system if you ask me!
Spain would kill me. I probably could have come up with more varieties but those are the basics and like I stated, there’s definitely a continuum. But truly, taking a nap is like self medicating but in the best way, right?