Waiting rooms…
WHINY WEDNESDAY
Today I went to the eye doctor for my annual check up. As I was sitting in the waiting room it occurred to me just how much I hate to wait in a room specifically designed for this purpose.
The magazines provided are usually a year old. Why would I want to read about the Royal Wedding? Didn’t that take place last April? I feel like a fortune teller… “Don’t worry Kate, you’ll be pencil thin in no time and your sister will upstage you and get all the press for months to come.” “Oh, look at that, Steve Jobs died! How sad.”
If those old treasured People Magazines don’t strike your fancy you could always read ‘Highlights.’ I didn’t even read that crappy thing as a kid, why would I want to read it now? Actually, why would I want to touch it? It appeared to have some sort of grease stain and was a little tacky when I handled it.
Splendid. Simply splendid.
If crusty magazines aren’t your thing, there’s always the fish tank. “Wow! Look at them go!” Around and around and through the fake coral, over and over and … Please, someone kill me now. Let’s face it, the fish tank is only entertaining if you’re 3 and under.
The music, or should we call it ‘Musak,’ is unbearable. It’s played at decibels just low enough to make you want to slit your wrists. It’s like jazzy Chinese water torture, drip, drip, drip… Surely I have entered the gates of waiting room hell. “Is there a hidden camera on me? Am I being punked?”
The furniture is ONLY the most uncomfortable. Either it’s too modern and stiff or it’s completely without support. And I’m sorry, but if I’m sitting for any length of time I want to be semi comfortable. (length of time = at least 30 minutes past your scheduled appointment.)
The other people waiting in the room look somewhat anxious and uptight. I determine that I don’t like them. Hey, just because we share the same eye Doctor doesn’t mean I want to get chummy with them.
Before my mind starts to turn to complete mush I start to wonder how much of my precious life has been spent waiting? Just waiting… And right at that moment I realize that I brought my iPad with me! “Hooray! Hooray for Steve Jobs!” Oh wait, he’s dead. “Sorry Steve. Maybe you should have spent a little more time on cloning rather than developing the Nano.”
Rest in peace, Steve Jobs. October 5th, 2011
Playing with gadgets are the only way I can get through waiting rooms! Too bad we can’t blog on WordPress on an iPad.
So true. I never thought I’d use an iPad but I don’t go anywhere without it. In fact I’m sitting in a parking lot right now, writing this. I’m not the most patient person so sitting in a waiting room is miserable. I usually end up cleaning out my purse! Haha!
Yes, waiting rooms do suck. Especially the ones at the doctors and you have the token person that needs to cough up a lung every five seconds.
I don’t ever recall any magazine being new, they were new once but you’re never there to see it. Maybe there’s a website somewhere that sells old mags?
That’s funny and true. How difficult is it to maintain a current stack of periodicals? Seriously?
I haven’t been sick all winter but if I come down with something, we’ll both know where I was infected. : /
Yeah, waiting rooms are weird places. The magazines aren’t entertaining and probably don’t exist anywhere else.
A doctor’s waiting room is often full of posters and leaflets stating things like “You might have AIDs, rabies or diphtheria. Have you checked?”.
I think the waiting room is usually worse than the reason you’re going to the Dr. in the first place. When I go to get my oil changed, the car place only has Automotive magazines while you’re waiting. The problem is, it’s usually women bringing their cars in to be serviced. I don’t know too many women who want to read about tires and steering fluid?
Lol this is definitely your funniest blog yet. So well written. This is a prime piece of work young lady.
“jazzy Chinese water torture” yes.
Also, omg Highlights….
Haha! thanks! Highlights is pretty damn funny, I’m not gonna lie. Everyone knows exacly what highlights looks like. I can’t believe I wrote something about waiting rooms? Haha! Oh, and I ended up with some new cute glasses!
very entertaining entry! made me think back to many good and bad memories of waiting for doctors, dentists and the like. i always liked trying to pick who would be called next and watching everyone’s head turn, terrified, at the sound of the nurse opening the door. a little morbid (but a lot fun). anyway, good job. keep it up!
Thanks Jones! Who knew waiting rooms could be such fun?
What did we do before cell phones in waiting rooms?
I had to wait 15 minutes to get my oil changed and I had to bring a magazine with me for entertainment I knew I’d get so bored. I’m the kind of guy who usually brings a book when I have to wait. Then I don’t read the book for months at a time because I don’t do much waiting in rooms of waiting. A cute girl came into the Jiffy Lube and ignored me. That’s how most of my stories end. Like this one for instance.
Oh and my old pediatrician used to always have Dr. Seuss books. My mom wouldn’t let me touch them because of the germs and she hated rhymes.
That’s classic! haha! A good scene for a movie? Such a typical mom thing to do. Good thing Dr. Seuss never met your mom!
Before my iPad, I always brought a book with me. Our Jiffy Lube guys are great because they get the oil changed in like 10 minutes. …unless they’re ripping me off and not really changing the fluids?!
I’m going to be the devil’s advocate here. It’s a “dark cloud” story, with a bright and shiny ending. About 11 years ago, my good friend had her 18-month-old twins get run over by a bus full of senior citizens when the twins were strapped in the double stroller. Modern medicine and Flight for Life saved both of them and they are functioning 12 year olds. The road to recovery was long and gruesome, more mentally than physically. My friend tells me that spending any amount of time in a doctor’s waiting room was more therapeutic than what any doctor/therapist could do for her. I used to hate the waiting room. Now, I remember what my friend told me and enjoy the waiting room period because it tells me (a) I’ve arrived and kept a goal and commitment to be somewhere and (b) don’t have time to read a magazine so an out-dated one is fine by me….xo
Awww… This is the sobering message that I think this post needed. We’re all so busy making fun of dr.s and medical issues that we overlooked the seriousness of what it could mean. Well, if your friend treasured her time in the waiting room then that’s even more reason to spruce them up. No one should have to spend so much time in a cruddy unkempt room.
She deserves the best…
thanks love!
I will agree that most waiting rooms are gross and uncomfortable. You are onto something here. Maybe there is a recession-proof business for “interior decorating the doctor’s waiting room?” I’m thinking a flat screen TV with a telenovela (with English subtitles) showing, herbal tea, fruit and lavender infused through the vents. xo
Agree. (Love the herbal tea idea) I’m thinking massage chairs, as well?
I always have this problem of being stuck in a waiting room, then needing to pee, but knowing that if I go, I’ll be called while I’m in the bathroom. It happened to me that last time I went to the doctor.
The same thing happens to me! My timing is always off. You may have just added the ‘one-more-thing’ that makes waiting rooms miserable.
Wait. Steve Jobs died? Well, spank my ass and all me Charlie!!! Next you’ll tell me Johnny Depp left his girlfriend. Like that would happen!!
Personally, I despise when you are reading along and suddenly there are pages torn out for a recipe. If you need a recipe, they are more than happy to make a copy, rather than have later patients suddenly screaming, “WHO THE F*CK TORE OUT THESE PAGES!!’
Oops, my bad. I have no regard for the next guy. I actually asked a receptionist, one time, to make a copy and she told me, “NO!” From that point on, I was a ripper. Hey, it’s very much like pulling from the back after I’ve handled an item. Right?
I’ve NEVER done that!!!! *coughIMALIARcough*