Waiting rooms…


Today I went to the eye doctor for my annual check up. As I was sitting in the waiting room it occurred to me just how much I hate to wait in a room specifically designed for this purpose.

The magazines provided are usually a year old. Why would I want to read about the Royal Wedding? Didn’t that take place last April? I feel like a fortune teller… “Don’t worry Kate, you’ll be pencil thin in no time and your sister will upstage you and get all the press for months to come.” “Oh, look at that, Steve Jobs died! How sad.”

If those old treasured People Magazines don’t strike your fancy you could always read ‘Highlights.’  I didn’t even read that crappy thing as a kid, why would I want to read it now? Actually, why would I want to touch it? It appeared to have some sort of grease stain and was a little tacky when I handled it.

Splendid. Simply splendid.

If crusty magazines aren’t your thing, there’s always the fish tank. “Wow! Look at them go!” Around and around and through the fake coral, over and over and … Please, someone kill me now. Let’s face it, the fish tank is only entertaining if you’re 3 and under.

The music, or should we call it ‘Musak,’ is unbearable. It’s played at decibels just low enough to make you want to slit your wrists. It’s like jazzy Chinese water torture, drip, drip, drip… Surely I have entered the gates of waiting room hell. “Is there a hidden camera on me? Am I being punked?”

The furniture is ONLY the most uncomfortable. Either it’s too modern and stiff or it’s completely without support. And I’m sorry, but if I’m sitting for any length of time I want to be semi comfortable. (length of time = at least 30 minutes past your scheduled appointment.)

The other people waiting in the room look somewhat anxious and uptight. I determine that I don’t like them. Hey, just because we share the same eye Doctor doesn’t mean I want to get chummy with them.

Before my mind starts to turn to complete mush I start to wonder how much of my precious life has been spent waiting? Just waiting… And right at that moment I realize that I brought my iPad with me! “Hooray! Hooray for Steve Jobs!” Oh wait, he’s dead. “Sorry Steve. Maybe you should have spent a little more time on cloning rather than developing the Nano.”

Rest in peace, Steve Jobs. October 5th, 2011