Safety matters….

Does safety really matter?

When I was young we were living la Vida loca. That’s right, we should all be dead because we didn’t follow today’s strict guidelines on how to live a safe life. We were actually interested in ENJOYING our life, isn’t that the point? Who wants to extend their life, always afraid to bust a move? (not something I would normally say.)

No, we didn’t wear seat belts or helmets. We were cool cats. We didn’t look like retarded Wally children. Okay, so flying through the windshield of a car is not really cool, but our cars back then were WAY more sturdy, they could take a beating, they even had wood paneling! The windows didn’t have parent controls, you were the master of your own car space. I’d ALWAYS roll my window down and hang half my body out, reaching for branches and tree limbs as we drove past. Not really dangerous, just a good time! (Excuse me, but we didn’t have ipads and electronics to entertain us. We had to use our imagination, okay?)

....very safe.

No, we didn’t use anti bacterial soap. Sometimes we didn’t even use soap, just warm water. And we didn’t even get sick because we had built up immunity systems to rival  that of a billy-goat. We only had one tooth past, Crest, and it didn’t have cavity blockers. We sat in the direct noon day sun with baby oil on our faces. None of this SPF sun block for us. Okay, so some of us look like alligators, but we had fun, right?

We hitch hiked all over the place, letting total strangers pick us up in the middle of the night on abandoned roads.

We didn’t wear slipper-shoes in public showers. I know, how did we survive?

We drank full calorie drinks like Hawaiian punch and Coca Cola! Mmmm…. And all food was full fat and full sugar. We didn’t have any of this low-fat and sugar-free stuff and WE WERE ALL THIN!!!! In fact we followed that crazy pyramid, the one that they just determined was complete rubbish because it says to eat something like 9 servings of carbs a day! And let’s not forget that we had a steady diet of red meat. RED MEAT!

June Cleaver worked on dinner from morning till night.

We had a smoking section in our high school. Yup, the teachers would come out and have a smoke with the students and just chill. It was a relaxed atmosphere, for sure. Now everyone is sooo uptight. Back in the day, smoking was allowed everywhere, even airplanes. No one complained because the smokers always looked a little tougher than everyone else. Cancer- schmancer, everyone was willing to take that risk : )

There were no visitor rules in the schools. You could just mosey on in and enter a class room any time of day. Now schools are like federal prisons. The last time I went to my son’s high school I had a complete body scan, cavity search and got finger printed. (I didn’t really have a cavity search–that would be disgusting.) Actually I didn’t have any of that happen to me, but they did write down my name and gave me a pass to wear, so almost the same thing? It made me feel like I was up to no good.

So there you have it. I’m sure I could come up with more unsafe practices that we partook in. I imagine everyone now will live to be good and old because they’re so safety aware. Who really wants to be 100 if it means living your life in fear? Not me. As Deborah Harry sang in Blondie – “Die young, stay pretty.”

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