What NOT to see at the theaters this weekend…

F I L M    R E V I E W   F R I D A Y   AND   W E E K E N D   P O T P O U R R I!

This has been an especially bad week for movie going so, even though I really wanted my weekly ration of buttered popcorn, I chose not to go.

Let’s go down the list and I’ll tell you my thoughts regarding some of this week’s offerings and why I think you should stay away.

  • TITANIC – Been there, done that.
  • THE THREE STOOGES – Seriously? The old TV show was marginally funny. You have to really enjoy that physical humor to sit through a re-make of the original. Not even a bucket of corn could lure me into this one.
  • AMERICAN REUNION – Ugh! I refuse to go to something that the studios slap together because they think it’ll be a money maker. Aren’t there better projects to spend all that money on?
  • THE CABIN IN THE WOODS – This looks beyond stupid. It’s rated R for strong bloody horror, (Hello.) violence, gore, language, drug use, sexuality and nudity. Not exactly my cup of tea. haha!
  • LOCKOUT – Rated PG 13. Viewers gave this an 80% rating and the Critics gave it 48%. I’m probably gonna side with the critics on this one. All you need to know is that the plot involves a rioting prison in outer space, the president’s daughter is there (for some unknown reason), and someone (Guy Pearce) is sent to go retrieve her and bring her back to earth. Enough said.
  • MIRROR MIRROR – This looks painful. I’m guessing even kids will give this a thumbs down.
  • DR. SEUSS – THE LORAX – I love Dr. Seuss stories. I like them in their book form, though. In the early 1970’s cartoonist Chuck Jones did an amazing job adapting, Cat In The Hat, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, and Horton Hears a Who. The studios today, however, really need to stay away from these wonderful tales. For whatever reason they always make them look garish and too modern. No need to gild the Lily, Hollywood! Didn’t Dr. Seuss already make them fanciful enough? This modern telling of the Lorax looks bad. Viewers gave it 73% and Critics gave it 47%. Just read the book to your kids – they’ll enjoy it more.
  • ***21 JUMP STREET – After I wrote this post I reconsidered this film based on recommendations from Lily in Canada and Sandylikeabeach. I did go Sunday night and was VERY amused. In fact, I would give it high marks for pure comedy. Good stuff. See it if you need some laughs. Also, this was the perfect movie for Channing Tatum — FINALLY!
  • WRATH OF THE TITANS – Not even Liam Neeson, Sam Worthington and Ralph Fiennes could tempt me to see this piece o’ crap. Viewers gave it a 65% and Critics gave it 37%. Watch the trailer and tell me this doesn’t look atrocious.
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“FOOTNOTE”

If I wasn’t too lazy to get in my car and drive downtown, this is the film I would have seen. Viewers gave it 100% (WOW!) and Critics gave it 82%. It’s rated PG and is 105 minutes. It’s in Hebrew, so there are subtitles. The story is about a rivalry between a father and son. Watch the preview and see what you think.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRDBbGsiyPY

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