My Spotless Mind…
Everyone who knows me quickly learns that I have a terrible memory, both short term and long term. I have what I call, “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” No, I didn’t pay a team of Doctors to erase my memories nor do I take drugs. It’s just the way God made me. Being unable to remember things keeps me happy as a clam — at least for the most part. You know what they say, “Ignorance is bliss,” and “What you don’t know won’t hurt you,” etc. I’d say my brain is like a self-cleaning oven – after I use it, everything gets cleaned out. It’s actually sort of refreshing.
There are a few things though that have managed to slip in, unbeknownst to me. I’d love more than anything, to get rid of them. Maybe if I write a post about them I’ll diminish their strength and impact?
- My daughter’s wedding. Now before you think badly of me, let me explain. I’d like to rid myself of the memory of the little details that went awry. For instance, we rented a beautiful white vintage Rolls Royce to take us to the wedding. I thought it would be great for pictures, etc. Unfortunately it was never explained to me by the rental service, that the air conditioning would be vintage as well — and by this I mean there was none. That’s right, either we would have to roll down the windows and risk destroying our beautiful hair styles in the wind tunnel vortex of death or sit in the car and melt the make-up off our faces. Hmm…. Lily chose windows up. We melted. Actually, she did surprisingly well, I melted. It didn’t help that on the way we were stopped by a sloooow moving freight train. When we arrived I looked as if I had already danced the night away.
- Road Kill. Here in Illinois we have an inordinate amount of roadkill. Why? I don’t know. Of course being the animal lover that I am, I always try to avert my eyes. (This is not always easy since driving usually requires that you look at the road and watch what you’re doing.) Still, somehow I manage to see it. These disturbing images have been seared into my memory. My brain has some how taken all the dead carcasses that I’ve seen, and morphed them into one generic super road kill. It’s very disturbing.
- Larry Crowne. Was there a scene in this film with particularly disturbing images? No. I’m speaking of the movie in its entirety. My brain couldn’t process the level of ‘badness’ that this movie was and so it haunts me. Throw in an image of Tom Hanks in that ridiculous weenie bike helmet and I’m at the brink — I rue the day my son brought that DVD home for laughs. It was only sad. I will never be able to watch Tom Hanks again without remembering Larry Crowne.
Well, that’s all I can remember for now! I guess less got in my brain than I realized. That’s a relief.
Just out of curiosity… If you could permanently remove trauma or negative memories from your brain by taking a pill, would you?
Here’s a picture of Lily and Paul at the wedding. I think I did a pretty good job of it, and by “it” I mean, Lily, of course.
I would definitely take the de-trauma pill! Although then I feel like I would be naive and not know about all the gross and bad stuff around. I was actually planning on writing a post about movies that traumatized me! Hmmmm
A lot of people say that they wouldn’t. Weird, right? I guess they feel like that would be taking away a part of themselves. I say good riddance to haunting and depressing memories. Ooh, sorry. you should still write it, it’ll be funny.
It’s so weird how everyone has the same ideas around the same time! haha you don’t have to be sorry! I didn’t even realize yours was going to be about traumatizing things.
It’s not as much about trauma as it is about my lack of memory! haha!
Ooo I like that pic! Mainly because of me.
I know what you mean about wanting to forget the sight of dead animals. I actually feel physically sick if I see anything like that and, yes, it is hard to erase such visions like one I still have after seeing pictures of an animal rights campaign against animals in science (once when I was young) and the cruelty of it has been burned in my brain to this day – horrible.
Ugh! Isn’t awful? I get physically sick, too. It’s like driving through a bloody battle field. I don’t have to go into detail because I know that you know. I always worry about little kids on their way to school – is that really something they need to see?
I know, its awful, even today, another poor animal on the side of the road and with my daughter in the car I have to really do my best not to say anything or she will ask about it…
Karen… what the hell are you doing here?!?
I’m everywhere 😛
Michael, I have an open door policy and Karen is welcome here any time 24/7. She happens to have very good taste.
That is actually really bad of the car rental place for not telling you that.
Paul and Lily look like they are in a scene for Mad Men.
When I called the rental place a few weeks later to tell them what happened they offered me a bottle of champagne — as if that would change things. I wasn’t looking for anything other than to save the next family from a similar fate.
Yeah, lots of people thought there was a 50’s theme – shows you what a pair of Buddy Holly glasses will do! ha!
Fortunately, my memory is similar to yours, so there ain’t a wole lot I’d ned the pill for…
Besides, todays trauma is frequently tomorrows bar story!
My memory is crap, to put it lightly and everyone knows it so they take advantage and make me feel like a crazy person. It’s like I blacked out but without the benefit of alcohol. Maybe I’ll convert them to bar stories?
Very funny post. Great photo of the couple in question. Tough topic for me. My memory banks have been robbed a few times. I had a couple of accidents where my head got very much in the way, and my brain was battered, bruised and shaken. Also a brain virus that took a heavy toll. Chuck in a trauma in my childhood, and what’s left is like throwing the stock pot into the colander. In the sink. The good stuff went down the plug-hole, and you’re left with chunky bits of yuck!
Ah well. I make up for it with an intense curiosity.
Oh, that’s so awful… I know someone who was in a car accident and suffered severe head trauma. It took years to regain some normalcy of life again. I can’t imagine. It must really de-rail your whole life. I’m sorry that you had to experience these events.
Thank heaven you have your sweet animals. Something about their spirits is very healing, I think. Your intense curiosity and love of life has pulled you through and we’re all the better for it : )
thanks sweet lady
I can’t really think of a particular moment I’d want to erase. I never saw Eternal Sunshine, but didn’t he erase a person? I’d do that. Too hard to list all the people. About 3/4th’s my graduating class I could do without.
Rolls Royces always make me think of Rolex watches. I was confused for a moment there.
I would have no problem erasing trauma or bad memories. They actually have this technology now. For those interested I say, Come on over to the sunny side of the street!
haha! If only it was a Rolex watch causing the problems!! It’s a good thing Lily and I didn’t have any Grey Poupon Mustard, it would have melted.
Hi,
I would definitely not take a pill to get rid of any bad memories, things that go wrong for us in the past is what made us who we are today I feel. We learn from mistakes, isn’t this how you became wise as you get older. 😀
Here’s the thing… I think there’s a line where really bad memories start to cause you to suffer in your day to day life. I’m talking real trauma. For those types of situations I say get relief – hopefully not by drinking yourself into a stupor, etc. But find therapeutic relief from the pain.
Now if the bad memories are just your garden variety, run of the mill sort, then I agree with you. They can be uncomfortable and cause some anxiety but you can, and should learn to work through them and grow emotionally. “That which doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.” I think you’re right, who we are today is the result of all our experiences.
Lily is gorgeous! And I’m with you, I desperately wish I could cleanse my brain of certain memories, including seeing roadkill or any dead animals. Not to mention a lot of terrible movies and TV shows, and the occasional awkwardness when I’ve had food in my teeth or I’ve tripped at a really inopportune time.
Thanks Madame Weebles!
I hate it when you can’t shake an image or stop re-playing some nightmare situation and the more you try to forget about it, the more you end up obsessing about it!
I wasn’t lying about my bad memory, though. I really do have a spotless mind for the most part. It’s a blessing and a curse. I usually feel like a complete moron because I have no recall whatsoever. Thank heaven for photographs which prove that I did exist in earlier times. haha!
I love that photo, very sexy. Hotness must run in the family… Lily doesn’t look too shabby either 😛
I would probably erase the last five years of my life if it were that easy, or maybe all of it and start a fresh.
Hahahah! Lol! Good one, Mr. Howorth!
That’s how I feel most of the time, too. I’d love a fresh start, a ‘do-over’, no history – at least in my own mind. haha! What a great excuse that would be for everything!!! ha!
There are a few memories I’d love to forget that keep coming to the top of my 8Ball Brain. Sadly, I can’t get rid of them, so, hey ho!
Lily was a flawless bride. Well done, fellow Mom. Well done, indeed.
Those bad haunting memories can really wreak havoc on our lives. It’s a real shame to have to suffer because we somehow can’t wipe the stupid slate clean. I know all too well. Even talk therapy has it’s limits.
Thanks for the comp on Lily. She was slightly pretty that day. She didn’t embarrass us too much, and easily made up for my melted make-up debacle.
Sign me up.. Matter of fact I’ll trip you if you try to cut in front of me.. I’m getting old, I need to rest my brain and only have happy memories..lol.. Oh boy what would be the first thing I would erase, probably the time I was singing like a fool in the car, looked over and 2 teenage boys were filming me.. They said 2 words, “You-Tube”..Yup, that would be the first to go.. I still get all sweaty remembering my embarrassment..
Haha! I know, right? There are so many moments that I would erase. It wouldn’t mean they didn’t happen, only that I wouldn’t be tortured by the memory. I would die if someone caught me singing in my car! Lol! I might have chased those kids down the road!
Lily and Paul are a picture perfect couple and thankfully Lily doesn’t have melted Gray Poupon all over her dress! LOL! I think I would erase all the embarrassing moments from my life. And also the Taffy May incident. Because roadkill is bad enough without having it be your very own kitty. I really enjoyed this Lisa!
I’m such a mom! I threw that picture up after I had already posted! haha! I don’t think Lily cared – she probably secretly liked it. Lol! The Grey Poupon commercial! haha! I also thought of that as an after thought. Lately, all the funny bits come to me too late!
Taffy May – oh yeah, I’d definitely have to erase that. My brain, unlike Peanuts, takes care of erasing without discernment and without my consent. (I might have to name my brain Glen Campbell! haha!) I’m stuck with random bits of info that I’ll never use. I’m actually surprised I still know my kid’s names!
No pill- those are the learning times. I always say my memory is like reverse Swiss cheese. I have pockets of (useless) knowledge, but they’re not connected. The sit isolated with huge voids in between. Why is it the painful things get burned in our memory the deepest? Angie
Reverse Swiss Cheese!!! hahaha! Mine is like teflon — nothing gets in and nothing comes out!!! haha!
A lot of people say they’d rather have their bad memories. I think there are atrocities like murder, prolonged sexual and physical abuse, battle field images, etc. that people literally can’t live with because it interrupts their day to day. (I see this a lot as a therapist) They’re almost paralyzed by the memory. The equivalent would be experiencing excruciating physical pain and not taking any pain relief medication. I agree with the idea of working through your run of the mill bad memories – you’re right, that’s how we learn and grow.
I love the phrase “my brain is like a self cleaning oven.” Perhaps, instead of a pill, you could have a self-cleaning brain oven for “the removal of all those unpleasant memories.”
I’m guessing think there are lots of people who would invest in one of those. I have no need for one since mine came with a self cleaning program already installed.
I had a good giggle at the RR complication!
That is a profound question. Some less pleasant memories provide a lovely contrast to the good ones. Also, some things one needs to remember or one gets bitten twice by the same snake. Otherwise, it would be rather nice.
I think you have a great response here, something to think about. Maybe we need the bad mixed in with the good? We wouldn’t be very grateful if everyday was a bed of roses. I also agree that some lessons are best learned by reviewing history occasionally. It’s when the thoughts become intrusive, uninvited guests in your brain, that you have a problem. : )
I’m glad you got a little giggle at the RR complication. Funny now, not so funny then!
You’ve been nominated for the Beautiful Blogger award
http://drawingroomdays.wordpress.com/2012/05/25/beautiful-blogger-award/
Even though I am certain you have had a million of these already, I am still including you in my nominations! Love to read your posts 🙂
Have a great weekend!
Thanks, Karen! I’m flattered that you thought of me : )
Now, to live up to such an award… Always a concern. Haha!
haha I know you can do it 🙂
Hmm it looks like your site ate my first
comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I submitted and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog.
I too am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any tips and hints for inexperienced blog writers? I’d certainly appreciate
it.
Hi Marina! I’m glad you’re enjoying my blog. I’ve been doing this for almost two years and I can tell you I’ve made major changes along the way. Started out very regimented and wanting to write everyday. then my schedule fell apart, that was to be expected, and now I’m barely writing. To be fair, a lot of people take the summer off.
My style has changed, too. I can be very serious and the next post will be goofy or self deprecating, etc. I’ve found that the best part of this whole thing has been the friends I’ve made. This was most unexpected. I have felt buoyed up by the love and support I receive here– maybe more than other place in my adult life. The feeling is shared by all of us and we do take the time to post about it.
I’m glad you’re joining in the fun, Marina. Hopefully I’ll see more of you in the future. Make sure to leave a comment!!
Have a great day!
Lisa