My Spotless Mind…

Everyone who knows me quickly learns that I have a terrible memory, both short term and long term. I have what I call, “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” No, I didn’t pay a team of Doctors to erase my memories nor do I take drugs. It’s just the way God made me. Being unable to remember things keeps me happy as a clam — at least for the most part. You know what they say, “Ignorance is bliss,” and “What you don’t know won’t hurt you,” etc. I’d say my brain is like a self-cleaning oven – after I use it, everything gets cleaned out. It’s actually sort of refreshing.

There are a few things though that have managed to slip in, unbeknownst to me. I’d love more than anything, to get rid of them. Maybe if I write a post about them I’ll diminish their strength and impact?

  • My daughter’s wedding. Now before you think badly of me, let me explain. I’d like to rid myself of the memory of the little details that went awry. For instance, we rented a beautiful white vintage Rolls Royce to take us to the wedding. I thought it would be great for pictures, etc. Unfortunately it was never explained to me by the rental service, that the air conditioning would be vintage as well — and by this I mean there was none. That’s right, either we would have to roll down the windows and risk destroying our beautiful hair styles in the wind tunnel vortex of death or sit in the car and melt the make-up off our faces. Hmm…. Lily chose windows up. We melted. Actually, she did surprisingly well, I melted. It didn’t help that on the way we were stopped by a sloooow moving freight train. When we arrived I looked as if I had already danced the night away. 
  • Road Kill. Here in Illinois we have an inordinate amount of roadkill. Why? I don’t know. Of course being the animal lover that I am, I always try to avert my eyes. (This  is not always easy since driving usually requires that you look at the road and watch what you’re doing.) Still, somehow I manage to see it. These disturbing images have been seared into my memory. My brain has some how taken all the dead carcasses that I’ve seen, and morphed them into one generic super road kill. It’s very disturbing.
  • Larry Crowne. Was there a scene in this film with particularly disturbing images? No. I’m speaking of the movie in its entirety. My brain couldn’t process the level of ‘badness’ that this movie was and so it haunts me. Throw in an image of Tom Hanks in that ridiculous weenie bike helmet and I’m at the brink — I rue the day my son brought that DVD home for laughs. It was only sad. I will never be able to watch Tom Hanks again without remembering Larry Crowne.

Well, that’s all I can remember for now! I guess less got in my brain than I realized. That’s a relief.

Just out of curiosity… If you could permanently remove trauma or negative memories from your brain by taking a pill, would you?

Here’s a picture of Lily and Paul at the wedding. I think I did a pretty good job of it, and by “it” I mean, Lily, of course.