A Different Father’s Day Message…
I’m writing this post today for all of the people who go to pick out a card for their fathers and are unable to because the words that they’d like to say don’t exist in cards. In fact, looking at cards only causes them to feel sad for what they’ve missed out on. They walk away because, as it turns out, they don’t really feel like buying this person something to congratulate him for what he didn’t do, for not being there, for not caring and for not loving them.
Sometimes we forget on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day that it’s not always a cause for celebration. These two days can be very painful for some people and we need to keep this in mind. Father’s day for me has become an icky reminder of the love I never knew.
As someone who studies and practices therapy I know that this early wounding can cause a child to grow up and make choices based on feelings of unworthiness. There’s a ripple effect that takes place, and believe me, it’s not a good ripple. I could write a lot here, like a book, but I’m going to refrain. Sadly, that’s the gift I now give my father in return for his actions and neglect–my silence.
No parent is ALL good or ALL bad. I try to keep this in mind and remember that my father had moments of goodness as well, though they were few and far between.
One of the ways I learned to cope while growing up was by remembering that God was my father, my Heavenly Father. Knowing that I had an all-knowing Father, someone who knew every hair on my head and loved me unconditionally, was a huge comfort and it still is. He’s someone I can always turn to and know He’s listening and caring. : )
So if you have the privilege and honor of being a father, remember that you too hold a sacred office. You’ve been given a special gift. No job is more important than the job of nurturing, loving and guiding your children. If you do this job well, giving it your heart and soul, your children and their children (and so on) will thank you.
Happy Father’s Day, Dad! (And no, I don’t mean MY dad.) haha!