Open House
Whiny Wednesday on Tuesday
You know I’m having a bad week when Whiny Wednesday has been moved to Tuesday. All I can say is, somebody please kill me or buy my house – either one will put me out of my misery.
As some of you know I’ve been trying to sell my house for the past year. I know, my timing is impeccable. It’s always best to sell a home during a double dip recession when the housing market is at it’s absolute worst.
Yesterday was spent cleaning and primping my home for the realtor’s OPEN HOUSE which took place today from 10:00 to 2:00 p.m. Preparing the house for a tour requires that I go into Joan Crawford mode. It’s not pretty. I can tell by their frightened faces that my family thinks I’m Mommie Dearest. I’m not gonna lie, my OCD does kick into full throttle, but somehow I manage to stop short of beating my children with wire hangers in the middle of the night. Suffice it to say, that by the time 10:00 rolls around, the house looks beautiful.
a few last minute touch ups…
Join me in my 4 hour lock-out
The idea that I have to be shut out of my house for 4 hours just about kills me. Topping the list of things I do during these mind numbing four hours, EAT. And believe me, I EAT. Next, I go to Barnes and Noble and read every magazine and new book review. Done. I look at the clock in the car, 10:43. Damn! I must have eaten faster than I thought. Again, not pretty. I randomly go into Pier One Imports and walk around looking at all the crap that strangely attracts and repels me simultaneously. It’s now 11:03. Eventually I wind up in a van down by the river. …and so my 4 hour odyssey goes. 
Did I mention that it’s 100 degrees outside? I wonder how the Open house and ‘showing’ are going…?
Yay! Finally it’s 2:00! I return home, expecting good news only to find out that it was a bust. Only 2 realtors showed up and the showing went badly. Seriously?? All that hard work down the drain. At least tonight I can eat off the floors, I mean, if I wanted to I could.
Puh-leeze, somebody kill me or buy my house!
You live in Chicagoland, right? Or am I making that up? I want to buy your house! Holy crap do I miss Chitown!
I feel the same way! I’m about 35-40 minutes from downtown Chicago. It’s an amazing city, right? Love it.
I wish you would buy my house!!
I have moved the sticky note
DON”T MAKE LISA MAD
to the center of the screen.
🙂
Some how…Be encouraged!
Hahahaha! Thanks for the laugh!!
A van down by the river? That is hysterical. It is so blistering hot here in Milwaukee my breast could slide off of my body. I told my children that this a.m. and Adam said, “Wait, could that really happen?”
Don’t be discouraged my pretty. Someone will make the move…this I know.
This heat is KILLING me. Haha! Adam’s response- classic. He probably wouldn’t put anything past you including melting breasts.
Keep my house in your prayers because I know HF doesn’t have anything else He’s working on. : )
Hi,
How very disappointing for you, and I know that the house would of been perfect, having an open house is a lot of work, I know, and then to have virtually nobody through is such a let down. Most of our open houses here believe it or not is usually only half an hour, on a rare occasion you may be able to talk the real estate to stay open for 40 mins, but that is rare.
Oh my gosh! Why does everything about Australia sound so great? I think I know where I want to move! Haha!
It is disappointing when you get no traffic. I’m just tired of the whole thing.
I can understand why a year is a long time to be going through that sort of thing, a bit depressing as well no doubt, but it will happen, I’m sure. 🙂
Thanks, Mags.
How come you’re wanting to sell? Where you planning on moving to? Selling houses from what I know sucks; one of my best friends used to work for a real estate agency and he said they didn’t sell well.
Keep at it though and you’ll sell it eventually I’m sure 🙂
Thanks for the reassurance, Pete. Now that Lily is on the west coast I feel like I should be closer. If she got pregnant I would want to be near to help her. My husband also works a lot on the west coast so moving west makes sense. I’m more of an east coast kind of girl since I grew up in New York. But you do what you gotta do, you know?
Selling my house is getting so tiresome.
Omg! Lisa! This was soo funny! Maybe you could use the wire hanger on your real estate agent ( even though I know it’s not their fault– it might make you feel better!) I can’t even imagine how hard it would be to have a house on the market for a whole year! If that were me everyday would be whiney Wednesday! That’s so cool you plan to move to the west coast! One of these your house will sell –just picture a sold hanging on the sign. That’s what I did and it worked!
Haha! The whole thing is such an ordeal. I figured I might as well make it comical and get a laugh or two. The thing is, I don’t even know where on the west coast I want to be –Washington, Oregon or California? Northern California would probably be my first choice but it’s so expensive! We could probably only afford a tool shed or garage! LOL!!!!
Keep sending good thoughts my way!
I will Lisa. I have your house pictured (it’s really cute by the way!) and I’ll visualize that there is a sold sign hanging from the bottom of the sign.
Maybe you could get a beautiful little cottage/tool shed by the beach somewhere! How fun and exciting to think of all the possibilities!
Oh, and maybe I will use the wire hangers on my real estate agent! Lol!
Lol literal hatred. I made bud a list of pros and cons of living at home. Both the pro and con list involved “Living with mom” hahah only because I know it’s one of his cons. Still made me laugh though. Pier One is fascinating. Nothing in that store makes sense.
LOL!! I can’t believe I’m on his pro AND con list! Hahaha!
Pier One is so cray – they want you to think you’re in some world market so they put stuff in every nook and crany. There’s no rhyme or reason! Haha!
I’d buy your house, but then I’d have to sell mine first.
True. Thanks for entertaining the idea for 2 seconds. haha!
What a pain this is — been there!! Be sure to add some cold cream to your face when you’re doing your Joan thing and hey, the van down by the river could just be the perfect home away from home you need. :). Good luck.
Good idea. That way I can really scare my family.
I had the same thought about the van – what it really means to simplify… Lol!!!
UGH!!! Been there… HATED every single excruciating minute of it. So HARD!
Loved the Mommy Dearest, that show scared the bejeeebieees out of me when I was little.
GOOD LUCK 🙂
It’s excruciating, for sure. I feel completely de-railed. And as much as I like a clean house, I hate keeping it clean. It’s so annoying to have it on your mind all the time.
The Mommie Dearest bit makes me laugh because that’s what I feel like! Hahaha! She scared me to death, too. Of course as a kid you’re both scared and fascinated, like how is this woman even real? haha!
Lol. Been there!
UGH!!!
Is this the latest realtor’s sales technique?
“Either buy this house or the kill the owner!”
I plan to sell my house soon and I’m afraid of the answer.
I’m afraid my death and the sale of my house will have a positive correlation.
Be afraid, be very afraid.
Boo-Hiss on no offers.. I remember when I was selling my house.. I was so damn glad to finally sign those papers and even more so glad I did not have to put on the Suzy Sunshine act anymore to potential buyers.. It will happen, sell I mean 🙂
Suzy Sunshine! UGH! I’m sick of it. My house is tricky because it’s on a main road and it’s older, but it’s full of charm and it’s been totally re-done. Whoever gets it is getting a steal. If I drop the price anymore I’m gonna lose a bundle but I’m dying here! Send some of your positive energy my way, Lynne!
Sadly I live a long way away and won’t be able to view – but good luck anyway. Apparently the smell of freshly brewed coffee and freshly baked bread help the ambience a tad. But under no circumstances have a leering 7 foot giant sharpening his axe inside your front door. This will put people off. Hope this helps!
Haha! Good advice! I’ve tried a few different things but I think it boils down to the fact that my house, though beautiful, is older and on a main road. It’s tricky. Hopefully someone will come along who doesn’t care and falls in love with everything else, like I did. : )
Your house would have sold, if only you hadn’t hung your clothes on wire hangers.
Ah well. Hope the next showing goes more smoothly for you.
I’m surprised you spent so little time in Barnes and Nobles.
For us, it’s a huge time (and money) suck!
haha! I knew the wire hangers were going to turn people off.
I was probably there for a longer time but for the sake of my comedy I thought it best to warp the time a little. Not that anyone gets “my comedy.”
Barnes and Noble is ONLY the biggest time suck in the universe. You’re right about that.
After my girl and I bought our bed frame, I realized it was in the green and wood B&N colors.
And neither of us minded in the least.
You probably felt right at home. : )
I hate having to kill time like this. For some reason Barnes and Noble is where I go too. I walk around aimlessly hoping no one asks me if I need any help. They always do. They’re too friendly.
You need to put some tommy gun relics in your backyard. Make it look as if the place was an old speak easy.
Haha! That would really draw a crowd, eh?
Barnes and Noble is our family’s favorite time waster. We practically own stock in that place, that’s how often we’re in there.
You know I have your back on the St Joseph end of the selling. I even bought a new candle (seriously, I did). If I had to sell now, I’d just hang myself. At least my family could sell to some sick person who wanted to own a house where a suicide occurred. As far as hangers go, my two weren’t allowed to leave until they understood everything had to be on black heavy plastic hangers 1 finger width apart in the closet. I feel for their spouses/SO’s in life who don’t follow that rule. There is also the rule of all spices must be in alphabetical order. None of my friends will go to builders home tours with me anymore, as I’ll re-do the spice cupboards in the model homes.
::sigh::
Good luck, missus.
Haha! I’m like “Horton sees a who.” Not hears, but SEES. I can see a speck on the carpet when nobody else can! Lol!
The spice rack and the hangers… I tell my kids it all adds up, it’s subliminal and can make or break the showing. Haha!
If I slit my wrists you’ll know why.
I have a showing this Saturday- people from New Hampshire. Send positive thoughts my way. Thanks.
MaGay just bought an old home near a road because he is from the East Coast, and, he likes being away from the city but, he enjoys the sound of traffic because it reminds him of the east coast so, who knows–they may be the same. Fingers crossed, candle lit, thoughts sent!! Curses on Lookie Loos!!
This is encouraging. I also tell people that the main road is the first one to get plowed in the winter, so you never have to be trapped in your house. My house is actually set back pretty far, it’s not like it’s RIGHT on the roadside like some of those historic homes. Cross your fingers. Today I have the New Hampshire peeps coming through at 3:00 p.m.
Hey, feel better. The market is just as bad as you said, so determination is key. And if it makes you feel any better, I’m totally jealous of you – nothing ever tastes good off of my floor.
Thanks for the encouragement. It just gets so depressing! I feel like a Dr. On call, actually, maybe that’s a bad analogy since that would make me a doctor with very few patients! Ha! I just hate having to keep the house spotless and getting my hopes up, waiting for the next phone call, etc.
If I go completely mental and eat off the floor I’ll be sure to let you know how it tastes. : )
Any feedback on the couple from the weekend??
Yes, thanks for asking. Apparently they LOVED it. YAY! I think they’ll be back in the next few days for another showing. Hallelujah!!! I’ll keep you posted. Thanks for your well wishes and positive vibes! Keep those fingers crossed.
I keep them crossed, even though it hinders my tyipng.
ahhahaha oh my God! this brought a tear to my eye! I will post a blog post inspired by you! LOL sigh :’) real estate thingies suck!
Lol!!! I’m in real estate hell. It does start to make you feel super crazy after awhile. Thanks for laughing along with me!