My Dental Odyssey…
Dear Readers, I have officially entered the gates of hell. I’d invite you to come in and sit by the fire, but I wouldn’t wish my current situation on my worst enemy. Please stay where you are. Instead, I’ll write a post and share with you a snippet of my last few nightmarish days…
TOOTH #28
I’ve always been fond of tooth 28, though I didn’t really know his name until recently. He sits on the lower right side of my mouth and sort of looks like a baby molar except he has a slightly jagged head on him. I’m sure, by that scientific description, you know exactly the one I’m speaking of. Anyway, he started causing trouble a few weeks ago, just very intermittently. This past week the pain grew more intense, and by ‘pain’ I mean on a scale of 1 to 10, I’m talking ELEVEN (maybe twelve). Eleven means you entertain sawing your own head off with a rusty blade, for a moment of relief. 
LONG STORY SHORT-ISH
I went to consult an endodontist and he said, “You’ve been grinding the hell out of your teeth. This one is cracked and you’ll need a root canal.” Then he left for an extended vacation the next day. SUPER! I went back to my dentist, told her what he said and she was very surprised because she said it looked like a very healthy tooth. She said it was a “virgin” tooth. (Not really sure what that means… but my other teeth seemed kind of offended.) She gave me a prescription for antibiotics and sent me on my way but as you may have guessed, the pain increased to a full 12 and I found myself at another endodontist’s office. He said, “You don’t need a root canal, Dr. D— was unethical and just wanted to take your money.” Really? He told me to get a mouth guard to wear at night and take 3 Advil.
Why don’t these people understand that I’m on the verge of a complete maniacal breakdown? Don’t they understand that tooth #28 has turned into Satan? Don’t they know this pain is driving me to the intersection of torture and HELL!
The very next day I return to his office and attempt to make clear EXACTLY what my pain level is. I think he can kind of tell since my hair is not brushed, my clothes are wrinkled from being on the floor and I have dark rings of death under my eyes. He gets me in the chair and starts numbing me up. I get the root canal and go home with the right side of my head completely numb – I even think my right brain was partially numb. I’m not exactly sure how I drove home? At least there was some glorious relief!!!
TODAY
If any of my readers have any firearms, please feel free to come to my house and shoot me in the face. Or, if one of you has enough Morphine to put me into a coma… I’d welcome that, as well. The pain has returned!!! It’s as if the root canal was never done!!! HOLY HELL! Now, what do I do? All of the Endodontists in my area take friday off. Isn’t that convenient? Apparently no one gets tooth pain on friday except me.
If you don’t hear from me in the next few days, please know that it was a pleasure meeting and getting to know all of you, I think the world of my blogging friends…. I’m only kidding! I won’t kill myself, I’d miss everyone too much! I’m nothing if not a survivor, sure, I’m a complainer, but I think under the circumstances it’s allowed. Suffice it to say, I won’t be eating any Popcorn today.
Have you tried the ol’ “tie your tooth to the car bumper and have someone floor it” trick? Works every time.
Haha! At this point I’d like to tie my entire head to the car bumper, if you know what I mean?
Uh oh’s! That really sucks, sorry to hear it 😦 I’ve recently have three fillings done because I grind my teeth too though not surprising with the amount of shit I deal with on a daily basis but my dentist is nice, she’s foreign (I can’t be more specific but she’s from one of those “sexy bitch” countries” and she always rests her boobs on my head when she’s having a look. I don’t even need my mouth to be numb after that haha 😀
Hope you feel better soon, I’ll come over if you want and give you a left hook?
Haha! I can always count on you for a little sexual humor. I wish boobs resting on my head would do it for me, but alas, I need real medicine. I’m glad I’m not alone in the teeth grinding department. If someone had asked me to choose one person from WordPress who I suspect grinds their teeth, it would have been you, Mr. Howorth!
That’s what I’m here for haha, yeah I can’t help grind them though it’s so relaxing! Why can’t we just have our teeth out completely and replace them all with diamonds? Boom undestructable.
Sorry to laugh Lisa but I couldn’t help myself! Let’s sit by the fire in Hell and talk about your tooth pain! LOL!! Once when I broke my wrist and the doctor reset it in his office (after it had been broken 5 days already) without so much as a Jolly Roger to ease the pain of the procedure, he did prescribe some 800 milligram ibuprofen afterwards and it made the pain go away completely. Maybe you could call one of the 12 or so dentists that you have seen within the last couple of days and see if any would prescribe some for you! Ye gads it sounds like you’re going to need something if 28 is ever going to satisfied. Failing that you might try a human sacrifice! I bet you could think of a few dentists right about now who would do the trick!
Good luck, I hope you feel better soon!!!!
Haha! I think laughter is the only thing that eases my significant pain. With that in mind, thank you for the Al Gore cartoon. That bought me a few minutes of relief.
Yeah, I may have to consider a human sacrifice or at least a voo-doo doll at this point, you know, to transfer some of my suffering. I have a few DDS’s in mind…
I’m calling on the emergency line right now and putting in a request for my 800 milligrams of ibuprofen. Thanks for the idea!
I’ll be a bit cranky until I get this pain to a more manageable place – though probably no one will know the difference! haha!
Well, if it’s any consolation, you are hilarious when you’re in pain!! I think tooth Number 28 is sitting atop your funny bone. Oh I hope you can get somebody to give you some 800 millligram Ibuprofen!!. If not, let me know and I’ll write you 800 Al Gore cartoons! God luck!!!
Ooh, girl, I share your teeth pain burden. I’ve had 2 root canals. Mine felt like they kept hurting afterwards and the dentists always told me it was the gums at that point since the tooth could no longer feel or something. Whatever, it still hurt, and I had to have periodontal surgery. Gum surgery. Because of a “biological violation” I believe was the term. 3 days before my wedding.
So let’s hope your gums chill out and stop having a party around your poor tooth #28!
Thanks little Jells. My 50th birthday is coming up and I hope to all that is Holy that I don’t have to usher in the 2nd half of my life in pain and on drugs! Yes, if you didn’t catch that, I plan on living to be exactly 100. haha!
I can’t imagine having this going on 3 days before your wedding. I think I’ve been violated by my biology/DNA, too! haha!
My birthday wish for you is to be tooth-pain free!! Happy early bday!
All I have is a 12 gauge Remington Shotgun. Probably wouldn’t work very well, but I’m willing to give it a try.
I’ll make a note of that. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Thanks Bro Jon!
Ouch.
I had really, really bad toothpain many years ago. Luckily, it was just an infection, so some antibiotics made it all better.
Get well soon!
Thanks, Michael. I wish they’d give me some definitive answer. I hate not knowing what’s going on? I have zero faith in these “professionals.”
Hi,
You would think after all those dentists that someone would be able to ease the pain for you, at least you have kept your sense of humour always good to have when things go really bad. I hope you can get some relief very soon.
Thanks Mags. Pain is such a, well, pain! haha! I feel like 80% of my energy is going into managing the pain. It’s so draining. I’ll just keep myself thoroughly medicated until I figure out what’s going on. haha!
So sorry to hear about your pain, but even you can make such a painful situation humorous…..Hope you get some relief and feel better soon.
Thanks kindly, A Dog With Fleas. Humor is about the only thing that gives me a bit of relief. I’m never sure if I’m just making myself laugh or not… thanks for the nice comment.
Tooth pain and finger pain stories always creep me out. How can two people with the same medical license give completely different viewpoints?
Get well soon! Don’t believe what the M*A*S*H* theme song says, suicide is not painless although I guess it does bring on many changes.
Haha! Yeah, how can two professionals have 2 totally different opinions. I think the guy that gave me the root canal didn’t get “it” all and now I’ll have to go get it worked on again. UGH!! I’m so upset. My summer has been all about pain so far. : (
Summer doesn’t start until you have a ballpark hot dog. MJ taught us that. You’ve still got plenty of time! Aren’t you going to Italy?
Doesn’t look like I’m going to Italy, all because of this stupid tooth! If I’m having this trouble with American Dentists imagine what I’d get with Italian dentists. haha!
Oh lord.. I would rather take a beating than have a toothache.. I birthed 5 babies and I have had a few toothaches so bad I honestly thought I would lose my mind.. I’m so sorry you are having this pain..Ugh..
Thanks Lynne. I can usually manage a decent amount of pain but this is pretty intolerable.
Five babies, huh? You’re a total superwoman.
Oh you poor thing! Toothache and earache are two mindblowing tortures the world really can do without! My sympathies and best wishes, and I really hope the best birthday gift is 28 being a distant, virtually forgotten memory I hope it really is a Happy Birthday!.
Thanks Charlene. That’s so kind of you. I was just telling my daughter about you and how you’ve helped me put things in proper perspective. There’s always someone who has it much worse, I suppose. Your sympathy means a lot to me : )
I’ll get to the bottom of this pain and all will be well.
Hope you’re getting to all your crafts and enjoying this creative time.
Have a beautiful day!!!
Lisa
No popcorn? That really will ruin a Friday.
I usually do a friday film review– really it’s just my excuse to get popcorn!
This week, however, due to my tooth pain I’ll have to go without. So yes, it pretty much ruined my friday and weekend : (
BTW – thanks for dropping by and commenting! Hope to see you around more.
You just might…
Pretty funny post madre! Although I was hesitant towards reading it. I was like, Hmmm do I really want to hear about mom’s tooth pain again? But it turned out to be a fun ride. Poor tooth 28. I picture him to look like that picture that you posted–all drugged up and bandaged, wondering who operated on him and stole his tooth virginity.
Haha! I’ve turned into a Debbie Downer. I just got back from an oral surgeon so I have more depressing news to report. Oy! Wish I was 20 years old again ; (
WHAT!?!?…you are not 20 years old…could have fooled me.
🙂
Be encouraged!
Aww… If only compliments made my tooth better… Thanks Stephen. Nice try : )
I feel so terribly sorry for you!!
My mother deals with a similar issue for three years already, so I slightly know what it has to be like… I really really hope for you that it gets solved as quickly as possible!
Thanks NBI. Three years would make me very depressed. I can tolerate pain in short bursts and as long as I know what it is and that it’s temporary, but if it’s a mystery and there’s no end in sight I get a little cranky and crazed!
Hope they get to the bottom of your mom’s issue. Pain has a funny way of turning your life inside out.
They have tried to take it away by taking away her tooth, and give her another one, but the pain hasn’t gone, so it’s not really fun. Maybe the pain will eventually go away, maybe it all just needs some time, but it’s frustrating to do all those things to improve your life and then it doesn’t seem to work…
Hopefully your situation will get better soon!
I’ve been reading about a lot of those cases. Women age 45 and older sometimes get something called neuralgia which is excruciating and is nerve related. People get multiple teeth extracted thinking that will solve the problem but it doesn’t. It’s awful. I hope your mom gets some relief soon.
I didn’t want to “Like” this post because I dislike liking other people’s pain. Hope you find a solution soon that leaves you pain free.
I know what you mean about “liking” something that’s obviously depressing. I felt like such a Debbie Downer while I was writing it so I later tried to inject it with some humor. The end result being that it’s a little confusing. Ha!
Thanks for the well wishes.
I’m emailing my monitor not that says DON”T MAKE LISA MAD to your tooth…that should do he trick.
🙂
Be encouraged!
Apparently I need to read what I write before sending it…please make all the spelling corrections in your mind as you read my last comment…geeesh.
Be encouraged!
Haha!! Thanks Stephen!!! Not sure if that dang tooth will listen but it’s worth a try.
I hope by now you’ve managed to find someone to actually solve the problem. So they did the root canal and that didn’t help at all? Egad.
You should go to the first available dentist, axplain in horrific detail the pain and what you’ve already gone through, then explain to him what exactly the pipe wrench you’re holding will do to his head if he doesn’t fix it now.
Not sure if it will get him to help, but swinging the pipe wrench will give you an excellent outlet for the pain!
*note – El Guapo does not condone the random beating of idiots in their faces with pipe wrenches for no reason. Unless you really really want to.
They sent me to an oral surgeon yesterday. he was baffled which is not good. He put me on steroids and antibiotics and said if I don’t feel better in a week or so to come back. Woo hoo! This shaping up to be a great summer!!!
If I don’t feel better in a week I’ll be returning with a pipe wrench, that is, if I’m still alive.
OUCH… be well! Im with El Guapo.. go locked and loaded and start swinging!
Thanks friend. I hope it doesn’t come down to that but if you read about a woman who went bizerk and took out an entire dental office, you’ll know it was me.
I’ll come visit you in the asylum..I’ll be in the room next to you…for other reasons 🙂
OMG, this is the worst. Tooth pain and I cannot stand going to the dentist. They terrify me with their drills, little sharp pics and all that. I go every 6 months and floss like a crazy person to avoid at all costs any additional drilling, picking and all that. I hope you are feeling better, Grippy and you get some good meds to take away that pain. Ouch!!!!
Thanks Brig. I went to an oral surgeon yesterday who put me on steroids and antibiotics so we shall see… I’ve been so drugged up lately that I’ve been completely thrown off my routine. It sucks. I’m like you, I go every 6months and take care of my teeth so this comes as quite a freak surprise. Like, excuse me, what the…?
I look forward to the summer so much because I live in Chicago and now I’m upset because I’m spending it in dr.s offices. I’m so bummed : (
This too shall pass — soon for you, I hope!!! Get well soon and the same for your toofers. :).
Oh, Lisa!! Still in pain?? I\’m so, so sorry! One thing that may help a wee bit is to put a bit of clove around the base of the tooth–it does numb it quite a bit.
If I were there, I\’d tuck you into bed and do all of your driving to and from the torture chambers you are being forced to enter.
((hugs))
Thanks kind Addie. I’m now on steroids and my tooth feels sore but the throbbing, gut wrenching pain has diminished. I’m just so aware of it. It’s hard to avoid the right side of your mouth. Ugh! I’ll be so thankful when the mystery is solved. No blog intended said her mother has been going through something similar. I’m now hearing stories of people extracting perfectly good teeth not realizing it’s a nerve situation. Apparently, women 45 years and older often get something called Neuralgia and it’s excruciating and untreatable! Good times!
I’ve heard clove is really good. I need to get some.
When I read the last line of the tooth #28 paragraph, I thought that you said “Entertain [yourself by] sawing your own head off with a rusty blade.”
My first reactions were 1) what do you do for an encore? and 2) it still won’t take the pain away.
Haha! I’ve been entertaining different scenarios in which I find relief through decapitation. Using a rusty blade to saw my own head off would be much preferable to the current pain I’m in and it would give me some permanent relief.
There’d be no encore after that, I’m afraid.
awww man! Hope you are feeling better!
I hate going to the dentist 
sigh!
I know, right? It stinks. I was supposed to be in Europe right now but had to cancel my plans because of this situation. Argh!!!!
Thanks for the well wishes!
oh my Gosh! that sucks!
here’s a little Johnny Cash to brighten up your day! http://riatarded.wordpress.com/2012/07/03/my-father-and-the-man-in-black-part-2-review/
Provided that you do like him. You do don’t you? *hopeful look* LOL :p
I LOVE Johnny Cash! If you go back in my archives you can see that he’s on many of my music monday posts. Good choice and Thanks, mam!
Really? I am gonna! I love him! I think that was before I started following you! *frantically searches through posts!*
Ouchy ouchy ouch! I hope you get some relief soon.
Thanks! I’ve been pain free for 3 days now but ended my steroids yesterday so hopefully the pain won’t return — fingers crossed.