Hot Fun In The Summertime… Part Two
Welcome back readers! I hope you’re ready for some more of my gripping summer memories.
Bay Head, New Jersey, 1976
This was the summer of America’s 200th birthday, the Bicentennial. My parents had rented a house for the summer on the Jersey Shore, the nice part of Jersey — not the Snookie part. Anyway, My older sister invited her boyfriend, Greg, to stay for a couple of weeks. He was darn good-looking. To say I had a crush on him would be a major understatement. One afternoon, after swimming in the ocean, I returned to the house and went to the backyard to use the outdoor shower. As it happened, Greg was in the backyard, too. Suddenly, I had a bright idea – a way to get Greg’s attention and be funny at the same time. I would step out from the shower, holding just a towel in front of me, bathing suit straps down, so as to give the appearance that I was naked underneath. I’d call out to him and then drop the towel, only to reveal that I had a bathing suit on! haha! That would be funny, right? Well, maybe to a 14 year old?
My plan, though masterfully plotted, didn’t go down right — but it did go down. You see, when I dropped the towel the top of my bathing suit fell over with it, only I didn’t sense that it went down. I stood there with my arms up in the air, smiling and thinking that I had just pulled off a great prank. When I saw the look of horror on his face and watched him turn his head, I looked down, only to see my sad, little, flat chest. I was completely mortified, like, I want to get back in the ocean and get eaten by sharks, mortified. I don’t think I made eye contact with him again for the remainder of that vacation.
I’ll always remember that summer, celebrating the country’s Bicentennial with a clothing malfunction of epic proportion that would make our founding fathers sick blush.
Grippy, you little wanton woman you! So funny and sweet. Those coming-of-age things make great novels…you know? Thanks for sharing. 🙂
It’s still embarrassing! Thanks for putting a kind spin on my juvenile idiocy. Haha!
Oh, man: Fabulous Bicentennial Disasters. Gah! Way to flip it around into a fun narrative, though.
Thanks, Brian. It still makes me cringe, to this day.
Now I’m wondering if practice makes perfect, and you pulled this off properly to snag your husband.
Great story!
I honestly could never re-enact this moment, I can barely retell it without feeling sick to my stomach. I’m not sure how I snagged my husband other than the fact that I was clothed. Haha!
Haha this is one of your best stories! At least it’s not one that makes me sad! Well, it’s embarrassing but, it makes me feel better about all of my embarrassing moments! haha! Good one!
Haha! This was soooo traumatic. I wanted to hide. What a total dope! Lol!
Great story – great strap line!
Haha! Thanks, Ginger! Even after all these years it still disturbs me.
Something similar happened to me years ago when the Jehovah’s Witnesses called one morning getting me out of the bath. When I reached for a copy of Watchtower and my towel fell away to reveal my “indignity” well…..safe to say they never called again!
Now that’s what I call going to extreme measures to rid yourself of the JW. Hahaha! I’m gonna try that!! That’s hysterical.
Oh No… reminds me of the time I stuffed my bathing suit with toilet paper and I don’t need to tell you how that turned out once I jumped in the surf…
Hahahahaha! How funny and stupid is that!? It’s great that we can talk about these things 30 to 40 years later! ha!
Grippy,
This was very sweet. I once had a malfunction like yours, at the beach, in Maine. Although the water was extremely cold, Le Clown’s magnificence didn’t not seem to mind. And this is where Le Clown started being followed by more women on WP than any other sexes. And now I should go.
Le Clown
Hahaha! Your magnificence must have a mind of it’s own to withstand the cold, a willful, show-offy kind of mind. No wonder you’re so popular, it’s all starting to make sense…
That must have been a horrible experience, but man alive, damn funny now :).
Always be careful when there’s a crush around, I’d say!
That’s good advice. I never thought about it that way, but you’re right, crushes tend to make people do goofy things.
Ohhh, Grippy, I’m cringing on behalf of your 14-year-old self. But it *is* a great story. ((hug))
Thanks, Weebs. That’s the last time I tried to pull a stunt like that. 14-year-olds are so dopey. I wish I could re-wind the clock, just for that moment, I probably could have been distracted with a mood ring or Barbie doll! Haha!
haa great story and you are oh so brave to share it. I remember the bicentennial — we went to the big parade; my mother dressed my sister and I up in matching period costumes. To my horror our picture was in the newspaper the next day…
Hahah! That’s pretty horrifying, depending on how old you were at the time. Your mother was not alone in her patriotic enthusiasm, much to the chagrin of many bicentennial youth. LOL!
I always think the re-telling of my embarrassing moments will be cathartic but they just make me want to curl up in a fetal position. haha!
laughing… keep sharing lady!
God Bless America!
It was a very patriotic moment for me.
I learned about this in history class. America almost became part of England again they were so embarrassed.
And come on there are plenty of wonderful places in New Jersey! There’s ummm—forget I said anything.
Hahah! I almost swam across the Atlantic I was so humiliated.
Yeah, I thought I had to differentiate the Snookie Jersey from the nice Jersey, lest anyone confuse the two.
Holy Moley, AGL! I laughed so hard, I couldn’t stop. I suppose it was the connecting with that age and the mortification and the vision of you standing there doing the Fran Dresher stance with your top gone and the whole thing, but, I actually laughed until I was snorting. Best. Story. Ever.
Haha! Thanks. Glad you got a good chuckle! I thought I was being so cute and clever and I ended up looking like a total freak. If anything highlighted the age difference between myself and my sister, it was that stunt, right there.
At the time I thought I’d be taking that to my grave but it ends up being great fodder for my blog, 36 years later! Who knew? LOL!
Great story. Takes me back to every stupid thing I ever did when I was “being cool” to “impress the ladies”. Thanks for this.
Tim
LOL! I’m glad you liked it and now feel validated in your youthful stupidity. No, Tim, you weren’t alone. I was right there with you acting like a complete imbecile. haha!
You may enjoy the next and final installment since you related to this one.
Gonna have to agree with timkeen40 on this. Roughly 99.9 percent of my attempts at “being cool” failed. Still do, actually! Glad I’m in good company.
Somebody should have had a long and meaningful talk with us when we were at that age. They should have warned us to never try and look cool because you’ll just end up humiliated. haha! I’m glad I’m not alone in my stupidity.
Agreed!
Agreed! Come to think of it, they should put that in the Official Good Parenting Handbook. They have those, right?
Hahaha! And you had it all planned out and everything! OMG I think you needed to have a dress rehearsal! Oh the things we did to get the attention of our potential beloved although you probably were just going for a laugh! Oh boy! Lol!!
In my mind I thought he’d turn away quickly and then I’d have a laugh because I was actually fully clothed. I never considered the possibility that I would be standing there completely exposed. NIGHTMARE!! He must have thought I was so desperate for attention and so pathetic. UGH! It’s only taken 36 years to feel safe to tell this story. Haha!
Man! You should have warned me not to drink anything while reading this. LOL!!!
Haha! It’s so embarrassing but after all these years it’s actually entertaining!
Most things are with a little distance lol. I have to wonder what he thinks now??? I’m sure he was pretty mortified too, and may have misunderstood. What did your sister have to say, or did she ever find out?
He was horrified, though he didn’t say anything. My sister’s opinion of me probably didn’t change much – I think she continued to think her 14 year old sister was a moron. haha!