Hot Fun in the Summertime… The Finale
Dear Readers, brace yourselves for the final installation of Hot Fun In the Summertime. I have one final memory that I debated on whether to share. Since you seem to enjoy the idiocy of my 14 year old ways, I thought we could return once more to Bay Head, New Jersey so that I might give you this parting gift. I apologize in advance if I offend anyone, or disturb anyone with the following images, as this is not my intention…
BAY HEAD, NEW JERSEY, 1976
During the course of our stay in Bay Head, our family naturally made friends with some of the locals. There was one group of teen agers that I was especially fond of because their “leader,” Peter King, was a hunk of burning summer love. He was like the Pied Piper, we’d follow him where ever he went. Often we sat around talking about music, which at the time, seemed to be Queen’s, “A Night at the Opera” and Yes’s “Roundabout.” If I thought I was ‘in’ and cool, Peter King probably thought he was Bay Head’s boy wonder.
One day, as I recall, Peter lead us to a small wooden bridge, like a foot bridge over a stream. He sat down with his legs dangling over the edge, his followers around him. And then my eyes caught sight of something that would forever change my life. Peter’s “King” was just sitting there exposed for all the world to see. Please know, I was an innocent 14 year old girl, I had grown up with all sisters, I had no way to process what I was actually looking at and had no way to reference it. To top it all off, I was S L O W on the pick up. Was Peter deformed? Possibly? Whatever that was, twixt his legs, was alien to me, in fact, it might have been an alien or some sort of pet that he kept in his shorts… And then the lights went on!!! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!
I had seen Peter’s King!!!!! 36 years later I can still conjure the whole thing up, but now I can put it in it’s proper perspective. Did Peter King realize that he had exposed himself? I don’t think so. I think he was just a barefoot teenager walking around without a care in the world, completely ignorant that his weiner was on the loose – if I can be so bold. Isn’t that what it means to be a teenager, after all, to be free? Perhaps this type of freedom was not what the founding father’s imagined, but on that bicentennial summer it was the only freedom that I really cared about.
Lol. I don’t know what to comment on that one.
That’s okay. I wouldn’t know how to respond to your comment. hahaha!
“I had seen Peter’s King!!!!!”
Hahaha! The best quote of the day! 😀
Hahah! The image is seared into my brain.
Well, I’ll never hear Roundabout the same way again…
haha! I know, right? Way to leave an indelible mark on a perfectly good song.
Okay, now wait just a minute here. Was Peter (omg, could the name be better?) walking around with his hoo-hickie out or did it spill out of this shorts (which if so, then are you sure his name wasn’t J Holmes?) If not, did he accidentally remove said hoo-hickie on the bridge?
Good gawd, woman I think we all have memories of seeing our first peni and some are good, funny and others kind of weird. Like yours — a weird weiner story. :). You certainly didn’t offend me. This is the good stuff.
Haha! I don’t think he ever made any adjustments or realized what was going on. It was just there, sticking out of his red nylon short’s leg like some kind of Sea Urchin. I was transfixed – I couldn’t process it for the life of me. I certainly didn’t turn away, either. LOL! There’s nothing that can prepare a gal for her first sighting. hahah!
Ha, your first sighting of the Sea Urchin. That could be name of a book “My First Sighting of a Sea Urchin.” Hope it didn’t scar you or anything. :).
Umm, probably just a little… Had I been sitting any closer I probably would’ve needed therapy. haha!
Oh. Em. Gee. I know exactly how you felt! I also have a memory of inadvertently seeing a slamma jamma when I was in my early teens. It was mortifying. Ewww.
LOL!!! I know, right? Ewww. It’s like a UFO sighting – you can’t really process it.
slamma jamma? weiner on the loose? Hoo Hickie? Lordy you ladies crack me up
Hahaha! I’m laughing along with you. I knew I liked you guys for a reason!
how come nobody said Peter’s Pickle pecked through his pants?
Because we’re not as smart or funny as you! haha!
Brrrrrrr. That must have been a rude awakening, eh? Mine was in gym class. One of the guys in my class was a little too big for his britches, if you know what I mean. I couldn’t look at him for the rest of the semester without giggling.
Eww! That must have been quite a fright for you. I remember guys gym uniforms were much shorter back in the day. Nothing can really prepare you for that first glimpse. I take issue with Mr. Rogers – remember he sang, “Boys are fancy on the outside?” Maybe he should have substituted the word fugly for fancy? I’m just saying…
My Gawd, slamma jamma (Audra, I know — it’s great, huh?? and Emily that one has now gone into my vocabulary). I’ll share my first peni story for another day. Not as pleasant as all of yours. Ew.
I know, slamma jamma needs to win a prize. Maybe Audra can work it into a Haiku?
Audra, it’s on. Slamma Jamma haiku. We’ll wait for your poetic brilliance.
slamma jamma haiku mmm that sound meaty
i meant soundS
Hoo Hickie on the Loose Haiku for You
slamma jamma man!
wiggly jiggly disco stick
ding dong dancing, GASP!
OMG! I think I just lost all of my male readers!! haha!
A most EXCELLENT Haiku. (I feel like it’s all in code) we just need some music to accompany it.
glad you enjoyed it 🙂
gee I hope I did not offend anyone
oops why did it double post?
teehee.. Why does Janet Jackson’s song :Nasty” come to mind… I remember the first time I spied a boys “king” in some cut off shorts.. I laughed until I peed my pants. I really did 🙂
Haha! It’s something that stays with you, that’s for sure. It’s good to hear that you found the humor in it rather than being scared like I was.
Omg! I have to wonder if Peter King still let’s it all hang out !! haha! What a shocking experience. From the way it sounds you probably couldn’t have been more stunned if you would have spotted a third arm — or maybe you thought that’s what it was at first! Oh how enjoyable reading about all your summer adventures!
Hahaha! I really didn’t know what I was looking at, and that may be the funniest part about the whole thing. Up until then, it didn’t occur to me that guys had more parts then a Ken doll! Third arm, absolutely! in those split seconds I considered everything. lol!!!!
Lol! Oh to be a fly on the wall if he ever read this!
Such a horror! Lol! Apparently I’m not the only one with this sort of memory. haha!
I feel ill.
laughing.. sorry Michael. No need to be sick
Sorry Michael, as stated in my disclaimer, that was not the intention but perhaps inevitable. Haha!
Peter’s parts peeked out, eh? I suppose we should be glad they weren’t perky that day! Oh, what a thing to have happen! I had brothers, so, I had some idea of what was there, but, I actually thought they stayed little. Yes, I was that stupid.
haha! Nothing in my imagination could have prepared me for that glimpse. Having brothers gives you an automatic higher body parts IQ. Me, I couldn’t have been more stupid.
Better you saw Peter’s KING live than in a “Playgirl” purchased at a 7-11 in Santa Monica. This post is beautiful. It’s as if you were at the zoo, not on a pier in New Jersey. A rewarding summer all the way around! But isn’t it weird when you go to a resort town in the summer and there is always a Peter King who fancies himself the pied-piper? How does that happen? It’s a gift, I guess. Once again, “A Gripping Life,” you observer and then you so beautifully and humorously put it into words. Kudos!
Haha! When I read your responses I hear your voice, as if you’re sitting right beside me, and I get hysterical. Peter’s King. A story that needed to be told. I suppose there’s a Peter King doing his thing at every summer hot spot across the country, just charming the girls and occasionally, accidentally educating them. Such is life.
It’s a beautiful thing.
Sorry I missed the Regatta. I have a couple words — Trigeminal Neuralgia. And… I’m ready for my morphine drip and, or, my lobotomy. Thank you very much.
Hugs and kisses to my beautiful friend, Marya!!!
xoxox
I have nominated you for a One Lovely Blog award.
Thank You, Curmudgeon!!! You made my day! It’s a especially an honor coming from you — someone who I believe is a gifted writer and classes up the joint.
Thanks again!
You’re most welcome but I’m supposed to be a grouchy SOB; someone who stinks up rather than classes up a joint.
Oops. Pardon me. You’re grouchy, I’ll give you that. Stinking up the joint? I have yet to see evidence of that. I have other readers who might give you a run for your money – hopefully they won’t read that last bit.
I Peter King’ed myself one time on the outside of a pool. I didn’t realize it. Do you think a tree knows what each of its branches are doing at all times? Think in those terms. Mistakes happen.
I wish he had a less common name and was to Google himself only to find this article. Why couldn’t he be Hiram McRonaldopolis?
I never thought about a tree keeping track of it’s many branches – I guess in this case it would just really need to keep track of one. But I like the analogy.
I hope to hell PK doesn’t somehow see this – what’s the likely hood? It’s not like I tagged his name or anything. This was 36 years ago… maybe he’s crossed over to the other side and he’s running free in his red nylon shorts. That’s how I’d like to think of him…
I forgot to say I was maybe 8 years old when this happened so even I was confused. I want the story straight on this one.
Hahah! Phew, I was hoping that didn’t happen last week.
I could sit and read the exchanges between you and Mooslicker all day. The two of you need a talk show. I would gladly DVR the 9 am-10 am spot on ABC to replace Kelly Ripa and Co. Now THAT would be television.
haha! I have to keep myself amused during all of my trials. You know they say, “Laughter is the best medicine.” — I’m desperate enough to give it a go. Thanks heaven for people like you and Mooselicker who keep me amused.
50 comments! And to think you almost didn’t post this gem! Wieners will always be funny no matter how you slice it. Wait. That’s probably not the best way to word that.
hahaha! True. Nothing makes me laugh more than using the word weiner – especially when it’s unexpected.