Hoses and Menus…

W H I N Y   W E D N E S D A Y

I have two very good and legitimate complaints for today’s post. I think you’ll have no reservations in getting on board the grievance train with me. I’m sorry, did I just use a pun? Wait, what? No I didn’t.

HOSES

I went to Home Depot this morning to pick up a hose and sprinkler. Most of you are probably aware that our country is on fire and in the throes of a major drought, etc. Being the good earth citizen that I am, and having my own private well that I’m free to use without restriction, I decided to water the hell out of my lawn. Right now it looks like it might spontaneously combust. Since I’m trying to sell my home I thought I might do well to avoid any brush fires. I don’t think brush fires would add much to my curb appeal.

Anyway… Home Depot sells a variety of garden hoses. Every manufacturer states on their box, very clearly, that the hose is a “NO KINK” hose. The one I purchased is called “NeverKink” and promises “GUARANTEES not to kink or tangle.” This of course is a BIG, FAT, LIE!!! Not only does it tell you it won’t kink or tangle but it has the nerve to give you the “science” behind it. I bought a hose with “Apex Reflex Mesh” which as most of us know, is a “self straightening anti-kink technology.” And wouldn’t ya know, it’s made in the USA. That really makes me want to invest in our manufacturers, and by that I mean, I want to become a Canadian citizen.

In honor of the “Apex Reflex Mesh” I thought you would enjoy Duran Duran’s REFLEX.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhQNz2AszDIMENUS

MENUS

It seems every time my friends and I go to a restaurant they seat us and place an alcohol menu the size of the Encyclopedia Brittanica in the middle of the table. What happen to just including those beverages on the regular menu? Being the sensitive soul that I am, it got me thinking… If I were an alcoholic and I was trying to stay sober, this subtle and insidious practice would really upset me. If I were on a diet (…and when am I not on a diet?) and the restaurant put a plate of donuts in the middle of the table, I’d be pretty outraged. Sure, I’d probably have a few, but after that, I’d be pissed. I understand that they want to make money, but lately they’ve really been pushing the alcohol. Luckily, I don’t drink, so I’m not tempted, but for those who do, it seems sort of sneaky. People who want to drink can easily ask for a drink menu if they really want one. Maybe I’m dead wrong on this? I just know if I was trying to avoid alcohol I wouldn’t want it shoved in my face.

Advertisements