Heaven on Earth…
OH. EM. GEE.
Yesterday I went to get my hair done, and by “done,” I mean, I went to have my roots covered so as to appear youthful and not scary. I hate having to do this every 5 weeks. It’s SUCH a hassle. But what are my options, really? I seriously would have white hair if not for the monthly practice of this deception. I could probably rock that beautiful white silver color that you sometimes see on older models or on Helen Mirren but, unfortunately, I think what I have is that ugly granny gray. I fear I’d end up looking like Captain Kangaroo if I let it go.
I’m not even going near the mustache… I am hormonal, after all.
The best part of getting your hair “done” is the shampoo and head massage that follows. I seriously have considered asking the shampooer for a full hour. You know I’d make it worth his wild while, monetarily speaking, of course. I don’t know what word to use other than the “O” word but I can’t use that lest my daughter, Lily, read this and “blow chunks.” I think you all know what I’m talking about. I almost feel like I’m levitating it’s so delicious. When he finishes I’m so disoriented that it occurs to me someone could have made off with all of my belongings. And then I get cranky. I need more. My head is apparently seriously touch deprived. Who knew my scalp would be so responsive?
I gave him, John, a pretty big tip, hoping he’ll remember me the next time and take it to the next level, which I believe is called, nirvana.
* I stole the “Oh. Em. Gee.” from Emily at The Waiting.
To funny, I did Lori’s hair last night and she didn’t give me a tip at all.
You must not have given her the deluxe treatment. wink. : )
this is flipping A- awesome. Don’t you love the hot steamy powerful wet spray that penetrates through your scalp when he rinses…heating your thoughts even more 🙂 haaa
I forgot to mention the powerful wet spray!!! It is penetrating!!! hahaha! If my thoughts got any more heated I’m afraid they’d have to dial 911. Lol!
gal’s gotta have some fun… thanks for the morning laugh
Audra, I was hoping to make someone laugh, glad it was you.
: )
Grippy, I wrote about this very same hair thing in a post from May (only mine was much more long-winded than yours), but I so understand this. I hate going yet I keep doing it. If mine was that beautiful white platinum color, I’d just give in.
There’s no guarantee. We could end up with that salt and pepper, steely look that is tres ugly. I’m not willing to chance it quite yet. But it is a pain, isn’t it?
The head massage is the only pay off. I want the shampooer to come home with me, just in case my scalp gets lonely. haha!
I have a VERY sensitive scalp so as long as I don’t get one (massage) that feels as if she’s trying to tear my head off, I’m okay. 🙂 All I’m saying, fingernails, watch the freakin’ fingernails!!!!
Oh, I’ve had that. It’s torture. I think men do a better scalp massage, I really do.
Shave it off. Sorted.
You can even milk people for sympathy, by saying you have just undergone chemotherapy.
That would be VERY attractive, Michael. Is that what the women do in your neck of the woods?
It’s how I pull the chicks in, I tell them the scar on my head is where they operated on my brain.
That’s a real turn on. I’m super attracted to guys who are missing a piece of their brain! lol! They’re so unpredictable!
I love how we all talk about touching up our roots!! And you’re right, Grippy, the shampoo and head rub really IS the best part of getting your hair “done.” The guy who usually washes my hair is a little too gentle, though, and it’s all I can do to keep myself from screaming “Harder!!” But I’m pretty sure everyone would think I was insane if I did that.
LOL!!! I think you should scream, “Harder!” If only to get a few raised eyebrows. I think you need to shop around for just the right shampooer, get the word on the street, go to the underground shampoo meets, do what you have to do, etc. It’ll be worth it for those few minutes of bliss.
I’m loving this regular posting thing you’ve got going at the moment 😀 I too used to like having my hair washed at this place I used to go to, when I stopped growing my hair the hairdresser still liked to run her fingers through my fro before shaving it all off. I think she had the hots for me, she even shaved my beard. Mhmmm Debbie…
Ahem, anyway, it’s my blogiversary today 😀
Mr. Peter Howorth!!!! Congratulations!!!! That’s awesome. I wish I was there to celebrate with you : )
I’m certain Debbie had the hots for you. Anybody that runs their fingers through your dry hair is sending you a message. Shaving your beard… that’s really intimate. Especially if she held your head close to her body. Hmmmm… maybe you need to go find Debbie to celebrate your blogiversary? hahah!
Congrats again!!!!!
I know right? A full year of me haha 😀
I’m sure Debbie’s boob grazed my head on more than one occasion, I should start going there again when I get a job as it’s £10 a hair cut! (Though she only charged me 8, because I used to get my hair done by her since I was 16 and she was just starting out at 18), it’s a bit different than being bent over a bath while my brother shaves my head and I’m talking to his wife whose sat on the loo having a wee at the same time. I know such classy people.
I don’t have to touch up my roots, but I still get my hair did. (Number 2 on the sides, and whatever on top) The shampoo afterward is always my favorite part. I tend to hum while it’s going on. Lets see, my appointment is a week from tomorrow. Can’t wait.
It’s one of life’s little pleasures. Guys don’t have to go through the same maintenance rituals as women cause they actually look good with a bit of gray whereas women look a little witchy-poo.
Enjoy your appointment!
You know what they say — the scalp is the 2nd most erogenous body zone….seriously, they say that. I’ve never had my hair professionally colored but I do have to keep up with my grays every 4 weeks or so. If I didn’t I’d probably be completely gray by now!
I’ve never heard that but somehow I believe it. I go in for my roots, too. I just don’t know how women transition from dark hair to gray/silver without looking like a skunk? I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I decide to get to it. *The bridge being the, Old Person Bridge. haha!
The shampoo–along with the hand massage and/or the leg massage that almost makes up for the snide comments made in another language–these are the things that are delightful in life. When those powerful fingers rub the scalp, the rinse, the calm tones of a voice that sounds as if it really does care about you–SHAMPOOER, TAKE MY CARES AWAY!!!
Umm, I’m sorry, did you say leg massage? You’re not saying simultaneously, are you? You mean separate treatments, right? I can only concentrate on one body zone at a time.
I must have the world’s best shampooer. He probably spends a good 5 minutes massaging the conditioner into my scalp, maybe longer? Sometimes my body becomes limp and I can’t snap out of the paralysis. And I’m not exaggerating. The only thing that makes me uneasy is imagining what my facial expressions look like. Gee, I hope they don’t have that on camera/tape. That would be a horror! haha!
These are pleasures I can only speculate about. My barber does it for free, and I don’t call for tips, either.
I think you’re missing out on something very special. Then again, maybe it’s better you don’t find out because you’d find a reason to return each week! haha! Saving money is always a good thing, especially in this terrible economy.
Dear Gripping,
Me TOOOO!!!
I love having my hair brushed, too.
My mom used to do it for hours….and I swear it’s better than a massage!!!
Oh. Em. Gee.
I am stealing!!!
♥
Lisa
Ahhhhhh….. It’s such a good feeling. I think you may be right, it’s better than a massage. It might even be a little addicting? ha!
Lisa
I will say one of the fondest memories I’ll take with me in life is my ex-husband used to wash/ condition and massage my head once a week.. Ever see that shampoo scene in “Out of Africa” ? He knew how much I loved that scene..
Now it’s my shampoo girl @ the salon.. not the same, but still gets a small “o” out of me 🙂
Hey, that’s a pretty great memory, if I do say so myself. That’s a very memorable scene, isn’t it? Beautiful, really.
The small “o” !! hahah!
I used to hate the shampooers. Those teen girls were always so rough with my head. Funny thing now is I probably wouldn’t mind that so much. Oh well.
Was hair “done” in quotes because certain people like to say hair “did.” I heard someone say it 5 times in one conversation the other day. I wanted to strangle her until her life was over and “did” with.
I’m not down with saying, hair “did.” Where does that even come from? Eww. I hate it too. It sounds so Appalachian – no offense to my Appalachian friends.
I hate to say it, but you need a guy to give the scalp massage. Not sure how you’d feel about that but they seem to be way better than most women.
Wait I’m seriously going to blow chunks! Just kidding. But seriously.
But I do know what you’re talking about with the sampooers there. One time I didn’t get John and I was like, oh no, it’s not going to be as good, but it was just as good. So relaxing! lol about Captain Kangaroo!
Haha! I almost asked him to marry me but then I remembered I was already married. haha! Seriously, such a gift.
Have you ever tried going the other way and peroxiding it? then again, you still have the root problem but maybe wont be as noticeable if you do decide to let it go 🙂
I’m not sure I’m ready to go from dark hair to blonde? That kind of switch is pretty drastic. It might scare me. Maybe if I slowly introduce highlights?
I don’t know… it’s such an unnecessary worry. haha!
Head scratches are so the best. I traded mine in when my hair stylist (and old friend) decided to give me haircuts in my house for a bottle of wine, but it’s sans the head scratch. I can’t figure out which end of the stick I’m getting.
I always forget how much I love getting my head massaged until I’m right there all lathered up. ahhh….
I don’t think your getting the better part of that deal, just saying.
I was out at a local market tonight and a vendor was selling this funny spidery-looking metal thingie which is meant to mimic the feel of a scalp massage. The woman who was trying it out was moaning in ecstasy… Perhaps this could keep you going between visits? 🙂
I’m with you on the colour. It’s a necessary and expensive evil in my life…
Believe it or not my sister bought me one of those several years ago! Haha! apparently Gwynth Paltrow uses one, too. They’re good but it’s better when someone has there actual hands on your soapy head. : )
The color… Ugh!
Grippy,
In the past 4 years, roughly, I went from a few grey hair to fifty shades of them – I just had to. This was a clear indication that I should not have a third child. I did write a post about my different hair styles of the past… http://clownonfire.wordpress.com/2012/03/23/hair/
Le Clown
I think 1991 Le Clown is very attractive. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just maintain that earlier look forever? I hate getting old. (but I’ll add, all pictures of Le Clown are delightful – just so there’s no mistake.)
Grippy,
There is so much life and joy in your face, at least on that ONE picture of you which has become famous on the blogosphere… Getting old has been good to you… Have a great day, Grippy.
Le Clown
I always liked you, Le Clown, but now I love you.
I just got my hair dyed to cover the white for the first time…I’m 28. I cannot believe I need to do this every five weeks for the rest of my life. Aahhh!
It’s the worst. I can see why some women just let it go– it’s too much effort not to mention expense. 28 is pretty early. Ugh! I feel your nightmare. ; (
Oh. My. Word. I’m in hysterics reading this post and the comments that ensue – I’ve been skulking in the wrong corner of the blogosphere for far too long – where have you people been all my life?
I found a white hair on the very top of my head this morning. Not gray, not blond – it’s blinking, flipping, ghost-face WHITE. And really coarse, it sticks straight out like it’s objecting to something.
I think it wants a shampoo/massage….
I’m pretty sure it wants a massage. Haha! Glad you enjoyed the post. This is a great and funny group of people, over here. We welcome you, and, of course, your white hair!
Ok, I have no idea how I’m so far behind here.
I need to get my hair cut this weekend.
If it feels anything like what you’ve described above, I’m going to sue someone for inappropriate behavior.
glad you enjoyed it though!
Here’s hoping you get a little bit of scalp nirvana!
Wanted to let you know I nominated you for the “Seven Things” Award.
Thank you!!! That’s very kind, indeed. I’ll check out the rules and start formulating my list. Humbled by the nomination : )
Lisa
You’re very welcome!! Just love your blog and glad to let nominate you for something you’re most deserving of!
It’s sooo much easier for blondes to go gray than brunettes. As far as aging gracefully goes, I think that hair color is right up there with proper (ehem) shapewear.
Wish your guy worked at my salon, though!
I agree. I might have to transition to blonde first and then gray. What a pain in the neck. As far as shapewear goes… It’s a necessary evil. I just turned 50 on Thursday. I feel overwhelmed with all of this maintenance. I used to like being female, not anymore! Ha!
My salon guy is to die for! Seriously, his scalp massage is ridiculous.
Well now you’re just gloating. And I’m jealous.
But, never mind that…Happy Birthday!! I hope your celebration was grand (and I’m sure your hair looked marvelous).
I think I’ll post about it tomorrow. I may call it, “How not to celebrate your 50th birthday” if that tells you anything. It was a disaster. I’ll have to find a way to make it funny. : )
When I got my hair done in Korea, they would seriously knead my noggin so thoroughly that I would leave the salon feeling like I had cheated on my husband. It gives a whole new meaning to “bed head.”
Haha! Emily!!! That’s hysterical! I’m in full agreement. It really is heaven on earth. I used to spend money that we didn’t have because I got addicted to getting my hair washed and styled. It’s seriously like crack cocaine.