When evil wins…

I used to work at a non-profit agency that was established to address the psychological needs of those in the inner city and surrounding community. I had a case load of roughly 50 people or more at any given time. Some of them had been court ordered to attend counseling. In my estimation, many of these individuals should have been behind bars. Many times I was required to go into client’s homes to make sure things were safe for the children who lived there. The job was both rewarding and exhausting. At times, it was also incredibly frustrating and depressing.

I never knew who would be walking through my door. Each day brought new challenges. There was one client I saw who was court ordered to receive individual counseling as well as group therapy. He was a pedophile and a sociopath. In addition to that, he was paranoid. I spent a year counseling a man who would never feel remorse for his actions. Often he would attempt to explain that these children who came to his home for “day care,” a business he set up with his wife, actually liked to be touched and fondled. He was a charming individual.

In time I gained a little of my client’s trust. I tried to make him feel safe and, I know this sounds crazy, loved. I assumed he had no clue what love was about, so in those 50 minutes I would try to pierce his icy soul. He had told me early on that he had no feelings, almost like he felt sorry for me because he could see I was trying to get blood from a stone. I think he liked my effort and felt sorry for me. He would confirm my suspicions that he was sexually abused as a child by his father, a scary man who was deeply disturbed on many levels. I also learned that my client served in the military, was married and had children. While he was overseas, apparently there was an incident, when he set fire to his two girls. They survived only physically. I can say that with some surety.

At some point, my family’s situation changed and I gave the agency my resignation notice. When a therapist leaves, they usually divide their clients up, trying to find a good fit with one of the other therapists. My supervisor and I decided it would be best if he took my court ordered pedophile. My supervisor knew my client because he ran the sexual offender’s group. Even though I knew my client strongly disliked my supervisor because he was much more confrontative, my supervisor really thought it would be best.

Two weeks later I’m at home and my husband, slightly shaken, tells me there’s been a shooting down at the agency. I don’t want to hear what he said, and so my brain blocks it for a good 10 minutes or so. Finally, I come around, feeling sick, I turn on the TV. Apparently my client had missed his probation meetings as well as the last two weeks of counseling. He was then ordered to meet with his probation officer and my supervisor down at the agency or there would be legal consequences. He entered the building and went to my supervisor’s office. He took out his gun and shot both men – two outstanding people, kind, good, decent and loving. Then he walked through the central area of the agency, like a mad man, and went back to my office and killed himself.

His wife told the papers that he “liked his old therapist” as a possible reason for the shooting. I had met with my supervisor on many occasions telling him that this client was dangerous and that he had no business being out on the street. I also remember telling him that my client dreamt of killing people. I had documented EVERYTHING. How many times during that past year had I been sitting across from a man with a concealed weapon? If I had been harder on him would he have killed me? Why didn’t the courts order him to serve time for his heinous crime? More importantly, why has nothing changed after this incident? The only change I’m aware of is that there is a new metal detector at that non-profit agency.