Something new to whine about…

Stop laughing and pretending you’re having fun.

I realize it’s not Whiny Wednesday but I have some significant grievances that are already stacking up this Monday morning. I feel like I might as well spill them a couple of days early, if that’s okay?

There’s a new LA Fitness that just opened up near my home. Naturally, a work-out enthusiast like myself, I was one of the first people to join. (Okay, so I’ll probably be one of the first people to quit, too. Never mind that.) Anyway, I just took a Zumba class this morning. So far I’ve had 3 different instructors. This last one really got under my skin. She insisted that everyone shout some form of WOO! at the end of each routine. Something about that behavior seems so CHEESY. As you might know, from earlier posts, I’m not a fan of overly enthusiastic people, they get on my nerves like, BIG TIME. I especially don’t like to feel forced into an emotion that I’m clearly not having. I don’t want to smile and high-five strangers and say WOO! at the end of each routine. I don’t want to laugh and act like I’m having fun when I’m sweating, out of breath and barely able to talk.

Seriously, STOP!

Maybe the giant wall of mirrors put me in a foul mood? I’m not sure. Actually, I am sure — I hate the wall of mirrors. I REALLY, REALLY, don’t need to see myself in lycra cropped pants, shaking, jumping, rocking and spinning to music I’ve never heard. I look like a total loser in there – even my effort to hide behind the other women was to no avail. The mirror obviously works to highlight all trouble zones while catching every mistake you make. I tried to tell myself it’s a poor quality mirror, like the ones in the fun house, and that’s why my thighs look abnormally large, but when I realized there was no alternately skinny image to be found anywhere on that wall to support my theory, I had to face facts.

I don’t know which is worse, the wall of mirrors or the GIGANTIC WINDOW that faces the road? Talk about feeling vulnerable. Sheesh. Do you think they’d dim the lights in there if I suggest it? Maybe in time, when I learn the routine and my blood pressure stabilizes, I’ll find that I actually don’t mind the mirror or the windows? Nah, that’ll never happen. I’m already contemplating my membership.