Something new to whine about…
Stop laughing and pretending you’re having fun.
I realize it’s not Whiny Wednesday but I have some significant grievances that are already stacking up this Monday morning. I feel like I might as well spill them a couple of days early, if that’s okay?
There’s a new LA Fitness that just opened up near my home. Naturally, a work-out enthusiast like myself, I was one of the first people to join. (Okay, so I’ll probably be one of the first people to quit, too. Never mind that.) Anyway, I just took a Zumba class this morning. So far I’ve had 3 different instructors. This last one really got under my skin. She insisted that everyone shout some form of WOO! at the end of each routine. Something about that behavior seems so CHEESY. As you might know, from earlier posts, I’m not a fan of overly enthusiastic people, they get on my nerves like, BIG TIME. I especially don’t like to feel forced into an emotion that I’m clearly not having. I don’t want to smile and high-five strangers and say WOO! at the end of each routine. I don’t want to laugh and act like I’m having fun when I’m sweating, out of breath and barely able to talk.
Seriously, STOP!
Maybe the giant wall of mirrors put me in a foul mood? I’m not sure. Actually, I am sure — I hate the wall of mirrors. I REALLY, REALLY, don’t need to see myself in lycra cropped pants, shaking, jumping, rocking and spinning to music I’ve never heard. I look like a total loser in there – even my effort to hide behind the other women was to no avail. The mirror obviously works to highlight all trouble zones while catching every mistake you make. I tried to tell myself it’s a poor quality mirror, like the ones in the fun house, and that’s why my thighs look abnormally large, but when I realized there was no alternately skinny image to be found anywhere on that wall to support my theory, I had to face facts.
I don’t know which is worse, the wall of mirrors or the GIGANTIC WINDOW that faces the road? Talk about feeling vulnerable. Sheesh. Do you think they’d dim the lights in there if I suggest it? Maybe in time, when I learn the routine and my blood pressure stabilizes, I’ll find that I actually don’t mind the mirror or the windows? Nah, that’ll never happen. I’m already contemplating my membership.
LMAO (I wish!) Lol
Lol!! I know there must be a lot of us who can relate.
Dear LIsa,
You very well may have been put in a bad mood….but THIS post. This one made MY day!!! It was the WOO! part. I can totally see it. There’s something so Seinfeld about the whole scenario.
Still laughing.
Giggling up a storm.
Thank you!!!!
WOO! High Five!
🙂
Love, Lisa
xoxooxx
haha! It is totally Seinfeldian! Yes! It’s just that extra little bit that throws you over the edge. That WOO! is the straw that breaks this camel’s back. I can barely do the class so don’t ask me to WOO! on top of it.
Glad it made you giggle!
Have woo-free day, Lis!
xoxox
Lisa
LoL Lisa!! You tried to tell yourself they were fun house mirrors! Ha! Well they should have fun house mirrors! Maybe they could have the room spin a little bit too so you would feel like you were moving faster! And I hear you on the perkiness. I will never have another gym membership as long as I live (unless I can find one with fun house mirrors) Why? 100% due to the perkiness of the instructors. They obviously drank some kind of obnoxious Kool-aid that erases their whole vocabulary that except for the word “awesome” and causes them to pronounce didn’t “di unt or didint”. I have a feeling hell is an aerobics class taught by a hyper cutesy girl named Brandy.
AHAHA!!! “Did unt” LOL!!!!!! Oh my gosh, Linda, you and I are on the same page with this one. Hyper cutesy Brandy would be my hell, as well.
But working out is so much FUNNNNNNNN!
LOL! I really can’t be FUNNNNNN! when I’m in cardiac arrest.
They are not dancing just standing smiling for the camera, then its of for a burger 🙂
I would be super pleased if I saw one of them chowing down a burger. Something tells me their diets consist of air, celery and water.
Thanks for the reminder why I workout at home.
Your woo experienced made me think of Ric Flair. There was a Simpsons episode when Bart ate ice cream near a gym window while the fat people walked on the treadmills. I never got those windows into the gym. It feels like a zoo exhibit.
I know, right? Being around peppy people is a real downer. It’s fake pep, anyway. They’re just doing it to try and sell you the place. Just like a slaes person that has to remark on everything you pick up. It’s like, “Knock it off, you’re not fooling anyone.”
It is like a zoo exhibit – I’m afraid to tell you which animal I’m representing.
We’ve got LA Fitness over here actually, I didn’t realise they were an international chain. I reckon Buckingam Palace Fitness would work better for the UK, though.
Forced wackiness is horrendous, you should paint over the mirrors.
I had no idea! That’s really interesting. I guess it plays on every one’s sense of what LA people look like. Buckingham Palace Fitness might scare people off – no one wants to look like Prince Philip, that’s for sure.
Forced wackiness – LOL! That’s what it feels like. It’s so undignified.
So tell me, Little Dear One, how did we get to be like family with one another when I am the in-the-flesh embodiment of “overly enthusiastic people?” hahaha! You crack me up…do you know how many miles Susie and I put on our little car slowly driving back and forth in front of those plate glass windows?…but oh how incredible was the sight…lol…
Be encouraged!
Please Stephen, tell me you and Susie do not yell Wooo! and cheer and laugh for no reason, or we might have to go our separate ways. haha! I can see it, if you’ve just managed to do something extraordinary, but doing the Samba really shouldn’t illicit that kind of enthusiasm. LOL!! This could be part II of the cashier post! haha!
Ugh! Don’t even mention the windows – dreadful.
I was thinking this is the cashier part II…did you happen to notice if she is in the class…I’m betting she is…you’re just to busy composing your next post to notice…and those windows…well they are a dream come too…hahaha…and Susie and I only yell Wooo! during special moments… 🙂
Be encouraged!
Good gawd, woman this was hilarious. I know what you mean about the Woo! thing — they were doing that back in the 80s (which seriously, that’s all Zumba is) the same grapevine, waving your hands, jumping up and down that we did back then. I felt weird doing the Woo thing then too. And yes, they need to dim the lights! Maybe some rose-colored bulbs, whatta ya think??
Lis is right — this does sound rather-Seinfeld-ish. There’s another show, “How I met your mother” and they had an episode about the Woo girls.
Great post, Grippy and I feel your pain. I do. ;).
hahah! I love that show, “How I met Your Mother.” I must have missed that episode. Well, you’re exactly right – nothing has changed. Doing the grapevine should not illicit a WOOO! from anyone, right? It’s so silly and cheesy. I refuse to participate in the WOOO! I’m even luke warm on clapping, and by “luke warm” I mean I hate clapping and I won’t do it. haha!
I’m so glad you can relate. I figured I wasn’t alone on this.
It IS cheesy. Just let me get through it and sweat and feel good that I did it, but don’t make me Woo. I WILL NOT WOO. HAAAAA!!! Loved this post.
haha! “Please instructor, don’t make me have to kill you.”
I hate that instructor and I haven’t even met her. You should’ve just not said anything and then after class said, “I don’t like to be forced to talk when I don’t want to.” Just make HER feel really uncomfortable. Roll your eyes next time she does it. Or just walk out in the middle of her class? Haha all good choices that I use on a daily basis to teachers that annoy me.
hahah! Lily, you crack me up. I need you here to toughen me up. The idea of rolling my eyes has merit – though something tells me she would just think I’m rolling them ’cause I’m having a heart attack. LOL! I’m one grapevine away from total collapse.
Dearest Grippy– why oh why would go there? evil mirrors AND a window? I think you should give her a big WOO with your middle finger…
I despise that mentality of fakeness!
Why isn’t your picture posted here exercising? I mean you already were spunky in front of everyone else?
A hilarious post– and thanks for the guffaw. I needed it.
Audra
Now a WOOO! with the middle finger, I like. Good idea. You and Lily ought to get together. She said I should roll my eyes or confront her after class! haha!
Oh please, a photograph? That’s not happening. That would be worse than the mirrors and windows combined.
Hey, I needed a good laugh, too. Glad you got a little chuckle.
Grippy
I’d go with using the middle finger–and, when confronted, bat your eyes in an innocent way and say, “I was just saying you are #1 in my book! WOO!!”
Jus’ a suggestion. I hope it helps.
OH!!! Maybe she’s related to Cheerful Cashier Lady!!! Oh, NO!!!
Haha! I like the idea of using the WOO! for emphasis. Great suggestion, I’ll take it into consideration.
She may very well be related to the cashier lady. LOL!!!
Hope you have a great night, Addie. WOOO! : D
Haha that top picture is epic, she’s having the good time but the 20 people behind her are thinking about whether or not to have a large McDonalds or just two mediums!
The gym I go to has a wall of mirrors but it’s good because you can see all the ladies behind you doing stretches and… lunges. I do like a lunge.
But we also have a massive window aswell and we’re upstairs and opposite to the gym is actually a McDonald’s so all the fat people can look up at you while they’re waiting for their food.
This is actually the gym I go to from the view of the McDonald’s bay park.
Ahaha! Oh my gosh, Pete, I’ve missed you! You always give me such a good laugh. I can just see you looking in the mirror at the lunging ladies. I have a McDonalds near my facility, as well. There’s probably one near every gym. That way the gym will always stay in business. Lol! Very clever.
It’s the only reason I go to the gym! I think it’s wrong to have a McDonald’s near a gym, those people who have low self control. Or going to the gym then grabbing a McGrease, basically making the last hour pointless. But as you said, that’s probably on purpose!
Oh boy I feel you on this…First of all the “happy, woo cheer” would have to go.. If I’m working out the last thing I need is to act like I’m in high school cheer camp (Go team!! Not!!) and a wall of mirrors? Oh no, I am beyond horrible looking when I exercise..lol.. next team she says “say woo” , whisper it..
That’s the best suggestion so far, I’ll just whisper it and look disinterested! Lol! The mirror is a nightmare. I just hate the idea that someone thinks I need to act like an idiot to be motivated. You and I are probably very similar in our workout attitude. I’m all serious. I have to be in order to get in the Lisa zone. Haha!
We are the same in that the “Woo” needs to go, or maybe just the instructor who makes you “Woo” to your hearts content. That and the large window in the front would make me change gyms!! 🙂
That’s probably why I work out at home (except when I’m power walking)…..the windows are shut, shades are drawn and no forced Woo’s.
The Woo! Is idiotic when you’re working out. It’s kind of like when you go clothes shopping and the sales lady starts oohing and aahing over things you’ve picked out. It’s just so unnecessary. It’s like, “why are you trying to sell me on something i’ve already bought?”
I wouldn’t have joined but I’m so burnt out on my at home work out and my long walks. I just wanted to try something new. We’ll see how long I can tolerate the WOO! Haha!
Yeah, you don’t strike me as a WOO! kinda gal. I’m not either. But I have to hand it to you for even TRYING Zumba. You’re a braver woman than I am.
I can’t handle fake enthusiasm. It’s enough for me to get in there and attempt Zumba, like you said – total humiliation. Hey lady, don’t make me have to kill you.
I go to the gym when there’s hardly anyone there so they can’t see my wobbly bits.
That’s very wise, Yaz. I don’t even want to see MY OWN wobbly bits, much less expose them to fellow patrons. haha!
You should request Zumba to Lawrence Welk. Group exercise scares me….
It scares me as well, that’s why I signed up. Remember that drug campaign, “Scared Straight?” I was hoping I could be scared thin. LOL! It’s worth a try, right? It’s that whole sense of accountability and feeling locked in – I need outside forces because left to my own devices I’ll just curl up and read a book. ha!.
I wish I could be scared thin….
Me too.
I like couch reading too….
Send pictures. I will give you an unbiased opinion. HF
Yup, sure, that’ll happen.
Thanks for always giving me a laugh.
Lisa : D
Really. Trust me. I’m not a doctor, but I play one on this blog. HF
Are you implying that only someone with a medical degree is qualified to look at my bod?
I read this yesterday but forgot to comment. I’m getting lazy b/c I read the blog in my email notification and then forget to jump over to the actual post.
LOVE this as much as I hate the classes and the mirrors. Another one of my exercise class problems is that I wind up staring at the people who are WAAAYYYY into it and rocking and checking themselves out. So then I’m not only out of synch with the class b/c I have no rhythm but I have most likely convinced another woman in the class that I want her.
Ahahaa! I wish you were in my class then we could just laugh the whole time. When I see people that are way into it and are super coordinated I figure I’m in the wrong class. I actually asked a few women if they had a beginner class and they just looked at me like I was an idiot. Then I had to act all old and achy like I had just gotten out of surgery. I kept digging a deeper hole. I think by that point, I had sufficiently lowered everyone’s expectations. I stayed in the back corner of the room where I could safely march in place if I needed to. LOL!
I’ll bet that if you substitute a four letter expletive at the end of the Zumba routine, you’ll get that cheesy instructor to stop demanding that you shout WOO!
You’re right. I never thought of that. Now I just need to channel my inner Madame Weebles or Le Clown the next time I’m in there. I’ll report back. Cheesy instructor be damned!
Yeah, I recommend not following Mr. C’s advice. When I do, it always gets me in trouble.
I’m gonna have to side with you on this, HF. I sense trouble.
Oh, Zumba. I, too, hate the massive mirror wall. I wish the wall was lined with skinny mirrors so I can only see a little bit of myself instead of the whole, hot-mess package! I try to Zumba in the evenings so I can cool down with a martini. It makes me feel better! 😉
ahaha! Good thinking! Yeah, I’d be happy if the mirrors were just from the neck up. I’m definitely a hot-mess especially when you add menopause on top of it. I basically look like I took a shower during class, and burned my face under a sunlamp. Hot-mess, indeed. I love these people who go out shopping or back to work or meet their friends for lunch afterward – What the heck? I have no choice but to go home and jump in the shower. Absolutely, no choice.
Instead of screaming Woo, Scream something else to make everyone wonder, like “PINEAPPLE!!” Or freak out the rest of the squad by screaming something like, “Crap there is that creep across the street watching us through that big honking window again! Man that guy is creepy, makes me want to dim the lights in here or something. Do you see him over there staring at all of us in this big wall of mirrors!”
hahaha! That’s an idea! Too bad that would require lots of breath – something I’m in short supply of at the end of each routine. Somebody actually did turn off the lights today so I must not be alone in my thinking?
This ‘woo’ person reminds me of your encounter with that over zealous waitress. 🙂
Exactly! I’m not into the fake enthusiasm, I just can’t be forced to go there. Haha!
Do your work out with a blindfold, to impress everyone else with your zen/ninja abilities.
And carry knives, so no one gets too close while you’re flailing. That’ll teach those enthusiastic jerks.
hehehe
haha! As always, your advice is very practical and oh so wise. Thanks, little Grasshopper.