A letter to a girl I used to know…

1977Dear Lisa,

This letter is to impart some valuable life lessons that, by all accounts, you should receive, but sadly, you won’t. Unfortunately we’re not born with a crystal ball, a road map, or the wisdom that would benefit us during our formative years. If I could turn back the clock, I would want you to carry this letter with you. The most important thing you should remember as your life unfolds is that you’re worth loving. Don’t try to be anything you’re not. If someone doesn’t love you for who you are, then you don’t need that person in your life. Love should not be work. You can’t love people back to wellness if they don’t love themselves. You don’t need to be strong for everyone, you don’t even need to be strong for yourself. It’s okay to fall apart when life gets hard, and it definitely will. Try to surround yourself with light and happy friends and family – those are the people who are most like you – they’ll edify and nourish you. Those in your life who are negative, heavy and broken, will drain you until you become physically ill. Don’t let that happen. Some of the messages you received as a child were unhealthy. Just because you have a different learning style, doesn’t mean your dumb. I know, it’s hard to erase that message. There are all kinds of intelligences. You have emotional intelligence and you love people – if you go forward with confidence, understanding that, you’ll find joy in those pursuits. Also, the family you were given is the hand you were dealt. It’s okay to fold that hand. The idea that you have to sacrifice your own happiness and well-being to be a member of a family, is false. No one should tolerate neglect and abuse for a family’s sake. We all make choices. You’re not responsible for the way other people navigate through life. You can love your family but give yourself distance and strong boundaries that will protect you in the years to come. Your greatest joy will come from your two children. Don’t rush through any part of those early years even though you’ll be flying solo for much of it, and you’ll be tired. Treasure every moment with them. You’ll be a loving and kind mother – always there to guide, nurture and protect them. Parenting will fall heavy on your shoulders. Through it all I know that you’ll maintain your eternal perspective, staying faithful and close to Heavenly Father. That’s where you’ll be strong. Remember that you are loved beyond your comprehension. Let THAT be the message that guides your life and you’ll have a bright and beautiful future.


Someone who knows you, well.