Stop the Presses!!!!
Everyone stop what you’re doing. I’ve stumbled across something that has the potential to change all of our lives in a big and meaningful way. Ready? I don’t know how this guide, with 60 sensible hints, hasn’t stayed on the New York Times Best Seller list for all these years, since it appears to address and solve a very important issue.
First of all, I’ve always thought of Maureen McCormick as an important voice. I think she speaks for all of us, I mean, isn’t “popularity” an issue that is first and foremost in your mind at all times? It is for me. I’m glad she only gives “hints” because if she actually told us how to solve our problems our brains couldn’t process the information. I think she may be a genius.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve always wanted to learn how to dress “right” as opposed to dressing left or maybe wrong? I shudder to think that I’ve been wrong all these years. I’m so embarrassed! I hope she tells us where she bought that groovy dress, it’s super mod.
I’m pretty sure I’ve been turning boys off my entire life, so I’m thankful that she’s included a section on CHANGE. Boy, am I ready to make that change! Thank goodness that Maureen includes a self-improvement plan!! I hope it’s not too complicated and that I’m able to implement these changes quickly. I can’t wait to surprise everyone, including myself!!
I told you guys, it’s too good to be true — but it IS true! I swear on Florence Henderson’s shaggy mullet that it’s true. You can thank me later.
Which chapter has the tips for scoring coke and hanging out with Steve Martin?
Because he hasn’t been returning my calls.
haha! Yeah, I’m pretty sure that Maureen McCormick’s life spiraled out of control after she wrote this guide. Wasn’t she on that celebrity weight loss show at one point? And to think I wanted to be her!
I read this post with my hair sticking up in curls and wearing an old tshirt, yoga pants and no bra (TMI?) while eating my bowl of Cheerios. Hot, right? The word ‘mod’ doesn’t apply to me right now, if ever. I feel I’m a Maureen drop out.
Maureen would not be proud. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t embrace your inner modness at all times. You may need to re-read the beauty and grooming section.
I sit ashamed.
Wait. So, no matter how many dating sites I sign up for, I’m still going to be alone? Well, pooh.
Addie, you’ll never be totally alone as long as you keep this guide by your side. The spirit of Marcia Brady will whisper motivating tips in your ear. So, that should make you happy, right?
Addie, you just described my everyday.
Glad I could help.
Oh how I wanted to be Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. But alas, having crossed that half century mark, I’m a hopeless case stuck in my ways. Where was this advice when I needed it most? lol
I wanted to be Marsha, too!!! haha! Maybe we can resurrect our inner Marsha so that we can re-claim our confidence in boy-girl relationships and surprise ourselves!
Woosh, thàt is what I need! Where is it available?
Enjoy! (the 3 pages I looked at were horribly painful.)
OMG!! She is so motivating! One of the questions — “Do you have heavy thighs or spindly legs?” She says if you give yourself anything lower than 4 points, “You have work to do!” How the heck have I lived without this guide for so long? All those wasted years!
I’m just surprised there’s no chapter on dealing with the emotional trauma of a broken nose.
I bet she’s saving that as a hook for the sequel.
I think you’re right. That oughta be a best seller. Why do we remember every episode? I don’t remember the rules to algebra but I remember every detail of that show.
Every so often, I get “When it’s time to ChAAaaAAnGe…” stuck in my head.
Barely have I seen a thing attacking one’s self confidence so damn much.
haha! I know, it’s awful, right?
I’ll see if I can find a copy for you. Hopefully it’s been translated into many languages for the world’s convenience. : )
That is amazing. It looks like something that would be on The Onion website.
I don’t know where it came from, I’m just relieved to have found it! I can’t wait to surprise myself!
Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. I remember her mod dress and beautiful hair. Thanks for passing along this wisdom, Lisa. Dressing correctly and making sure I don’t piss off any “boys” off is what I live for.
Funny stuff — I needed this laugh!
I think you’ll be able to meet, talk to and date the boys you want after reading this. It is, after-all, Brig, “written just for YOU by a girl who knows what your problems are.” That should be very comforting to you. haha!
I love how you’re channeling Marcia. I don’t know how I’ve lived this long without this wisdom. 😉
The spirit of Marcia Brady is very strong, don’t kid yourself. I don’t know how any of us have lived without these 60 hints? It’s a wonder we’re not living in the gutter.
I feel so inadequate. I mean, I always felt inadequate while watching her on the Brady Bunch, but now, after reading this, I just feel like I’ve let Maureen down.
Well, Weebs, you have. Shh…. I think I hear Maureen crying in the distance. Sorry to tell you that unless you know how to dress right and have implemented the self-improvement plan that Maureen suggests, your life is likely in the crapper, basically it’s shit. So there you have it. I didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news but you’re completely inadequate : /
Luckily, you have me as a friend, and I love you despite all of your “common mistakes.”
Wow, her pose on the cover of that book just exudes confidence. What girl wouldn’t want to know how to perfect that “all the puppies died” look? All the guys love it!
She really does exude confidence, doesn’t she? No wonder a whole generation of girls subscribed to Tiger Beat magazine and wore their hair parted down the middle. We followed Marcia Brady’s lead like our popularity depended on it. There wasn’t anyone more groovy during that time.
haha.. this is great..only you would find post-teen(us folks) advice from a Brady.. Poor Maureen looks so unhappy in that one picture, she must have been worried about her hair or something.. Now I wonder what a book by Alice would have read like?
haha! A book by Alice might have given tips on how not to kill the children you’re in charge of. What a thankless job she had, no wonder she was always sneaking out with Sam the butcher!
You’re right, Maureen does look unhappy, or is that just her come hither look?
I think I am beyond help…once a dork always a dork. Does Jan have a self help book?
awesome awesome post.. I look forward to more tips on how to be an “it” girl
Jan!! Haha! Remember those round little Mrs. Beasley eye glasses she had and those two banana curls one on each side of her face? She was a dork, wasn’t she?
Hey, if you’re having hot sex with your husband, Audra, then trust me, you’re absolutely an IT GIRL! Tee hee.
haaa so true on my huband(blush) but that just goes to prove that there is someone for everyone. Cupid drugged us pretty good with his poisonous arrows. either that or we are still wearing our beer goggles.. it works 🙂
Always wanted to know how to do the Marsha hair flick. So groovy… Now I know where to look!
How we got along in life without these hot tips, I’ll never know. Once we know the secret to the proper hair flick we’ll be well on our way to becoming groovy chicks!
Sensible hints! Those words have never been more perfect together.
Sadly, I probably would have bought this guide and followed it when I was 12 years old. I tried my best to look exactly like Marcia Brady! Haha!
LOL! Well no wonder I wasn’t popular. For one thing, I didn’t know boys had an on/off switch and that it was just a matter of flipping it. Probably in the back of the neck or something – I’m sure Marsha shows us where it is in the guide. (I hope!) I loved this little trip down memory lane Lisa. Ok . . I’m going to go part my hair down the middle now. 😀
Haha! Linda, I think we could really turn our lives around if we took the time to follow the 60 hints and self-improvement guide. I wonder if that picture of her looking sulky was before or after she surprised herself and others?
Parting our hair down the middle is probably one of the first hints, don’t you think? I mean, who doesn’t look groovy that way?
Wow. I can’t believe I survived adolescence without this.
I know, right? I could have used her self improvement plan or, at the very least, her groovy fashion tips.