Stop the Presses!!!!

Everyone stop what you’re doing. I’ve stumbled across something that has the potential to change all of our lives in a big and meaningful way. Ready? I don’t know how this guide, with 60 sensible hints, hasn’t stayed on the New York Times Best Seller list for all these years, since it appears to address and solve a very important issue.Β 

First of all, I’ve always thought of Maureen McCormick as an important voice. I think she speaks for all of us, I mean, isn’t “popularity” an issue that is first and foremost in your mind at all times? It is for me. I’m glad she only gives “hints” because if she actually told us how to solve our problems our brains couldn’t process the information. I think she may be a genius.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve always wanted to learn how to dress “right” as opposed to dressing left or maybe wrong? I shudder to think that I’ve been wrong all these years. I’m so embarrassed! I hope she tells us where she bought that groovy dress, it’s super mod.

I’m pretty sure I’ve been turning boys off my entire life, so I’m thankful that she’s included a section on CHANGE. Boy, am I ready to make that change! Thank goodness that Maureen includes a self-improvement plan!! I hope it’s not too complicated and that I’m able to implement these changes quickly. I can’t wait to surprise everyone, including myself!!

I told you guys, it’s too good to be true — but it IS true! I swear on Florence Henderson’s shaggy mullet that it’s true. You can thank me later.