A Return To Whiny Wednesday…
I know it’s hard to believe that someone as sweet and delightful as me could find things to whine about — but things present themselves daily. Why, I don’t even have to look, they just fall in my lap. With your permission, I’ll use this post to air today’s grievance, heavy as it is.
The Cashier
Some of you may not know this but I’m ‘a regular’ down at our local breakfast establishment. What does that mean exactly? It means I go to breakfast everyday at 6:00 am. How’s that for regular? I also order the same exact thing every morning. Am I scaring you yet? Anyway, I obviously enjoy it, otherwise I wouldn’t do it. There’s actually a small motley group of us. In any other situation we probably wouldn’t even acknowledge each other, but because we have the same strange daily habit, we have formed a curious bond. We know just enough information about each other to keep things pleasant but not enough to cause any of us to want to see each other outside of that situation. It’s like Groundhog’s Day rolled up inside an episode of Twilight Zone. Sometimes I imagine Rod Serling standing behind me saying his little monologue. Bwhahah!
That’s me in the window, in case you were wondering.
Where was I going with this…? Oh yes, I remember. Recently this little restaurant hired a new cashier, much to every regular’s chagrin. I thought our old one was just fine, she had the good sense to keep her head down, never making uncomfortable eye contact and keeping her thoughts to herself. Perfect. At that hour of the day, let’s be honest, that’s all you really want in a cashier.
This new gal, is way over the top, and by “over the top” I mean everything from her breasts to her volume. She’s much too perky, I’d say, almost cartoonish. To top it off, she looks and talks like a Stepford Wife. I’m still waiting for her to turn around so I can see if she has a wind up knob protruding from her back. For some reason she hasn’t quite figured out that the same people are there every morning, that we don’t need instruction on where to sign our name on the receipt, and that yes, EVERYTHING WAS WONDERFUL!!!!! Oh my gosh! She makes me hostile!!!! (What the heck is wrong with me? – Don’t answer that.) I feel that to the degree she is perky and slightly brainless, I must respond with an equal force of sullenness. I find myself having to channel Curmudgeon at Large, just so I can get out of there with my sanity in tact.
Deep breath. Okay, I feel much better now. I hope I haven’t frightened you. I did have two grievances but I’ll have to share the other one tomorrow. That’s all the moaning I can handle for right now.
Have a bright, beautiful and hostility free day!!
**Right now, Stephen, at Life’s Revelation, is formulating a new post which will address my significant issues.
Ha! That’s so funny, Grippy. It must be difficult to respond cheerily to anyone at 6 a.m. Wow, I’ve got a a new respect for you. I’m whining right along with you. I’ve got a horrible cold and now I have to go to the doctor. wah, wah. Hope you have a beautiful day yourself!!
haha! Thanks for finding the humor in my silly little complaint!
I’m sorry you have a a cold – yuck! I hate getting sick. Hang in there! I hope the Doc gives you the good stuff and that you feel better really soon. : (
6am??? God bless, Grippy, that’s early. But anyone who’s as perky and loud as that cashier at that time of day needs a muzzle. And maybe a shot with a taser.
I knew I could count on you to sympathize, Weebs. It’s an hour of the day that deserves hushed tones, anyone who doesn’t recognize that should be tasered. Good one!
Sorry, you lost me when you mentioned her breasts. However, I’m sure your complaint, whatever it was, was legitimate. HF
haha! HF, I’m afraid if you got close enough you would be LOST in her breasts. She’d probably hand you back the wrong change and you wouldn’t even notice. I’ll have to be more careful in the future and only mention breasts in the last line. Thanks for backing me up anyway.
What is this magnificent breakfast that you eat EVERYDAY? If it doesn’t contain toast I’m outta here!
And I’m pretty sure food doesn’t even digest until at least 7:00 a.m. Holy Heck. At least the cooks have it easy I guess.
It’s not so magnificent, really — two poached eggs, rye toast and a small Grapefruit juice. I know, blech! That’s what you’re thinking, right? Well imagine what I’d look like if I had pancakes and bacon every morning. I wouldn’t be able to fit in that little avatar! 6:00 am is early enough without little miss perky blaring her over the top mock friendliness.
I can dig that. I drank my weight in grapefruit juice weekly back when I was quitting smoking. That was a year ago and I haven’t had any since. Maybe a juice I need to revisit.
I think you should. I liken it to battery acid and hope that it eats away at the food that’s in my stomach so that I can skip the crunches. haha! My logic is very scientifically sound.
Ah, From your picture, I deduce that you aren’t quite your usual sunny self at that time of the morning, indeed.
*afterthought* Even at that time of morning, I’m sure it would cheer me up if her breasts were literally over the top …
Colonialist, you have deduced accurately. My sunny nature doesn’t emerge usually until after my breakfast.
I’m quite certain the cashier’s breasts will keep most men buoyant at that time of the morning. Maybe that’s why she was hired?
I am fascinated by your regularness! I pretty much order the exact same thing in a restaurant, and the variation comes from which restaurant I’m in.
I also love trying to adjust other people’s mood or tone or volume of voice by my own.
haha! Yeah, I think that’s precisely what irks me. Why doesn’t she look around and make an adjustment. It’s ungodly how she interacts with people. I want to tell her to take a chill pill in the worst way.
The regular thing is strange and yet it’s just habit. My body wakes up early on it’s own – no alarm clock needed. Going out for breakfast makes me feel like I’ve joined the land of the living.
haha.. Too-perky waitresses annoy me too.. I mean how perky does one need to be @ 6am for goodness sake…I love whiny Wednesdays!!!
hahah! I know, right? Her volume and inability to gauge the mood and tone of those around her is baffling. Her behavior, at that hour, is ungodly. LOL!
I am veeery skeptical of people who are mindlessly perky, too. You are not the only one. It seems like if everything is going to great for them, they will eventually go postal on everyone.
Yeah, you’re right. She’s got red flags waving all over the place! Haha!
I love yelp.com for venting & complimenting my places in way of reviews! Not sure you could even yelp this one lol. Can’t wait for part two! Grin-
YELP!! That’s the perfect word. That’s what I feel like I’m doing, but you’re right, this one might be out of yelp.com range! haha!
You are funny. That is good whining! hahahaha You know what else we have in common? I have to eat almost as soon as I get out of bed.
haha! I tell myself that waking up hungry is good and healthy, but then again, I’d be hard pressed to choose a time of day that I wasn’t hungry. LOL! I’ve been known to eat a meal only to eat another one an hour later!
Portland is foodie central!!!
YUM!!
I’m up by 7, and have the same breakfast (by myself at home), and, if I had to face perkiness before at least 9, I’d be doing some smacking.
Okay, I’d do it in my head, but, it’d show in my eyes as I shot laser glare out at Miss Busty Perk.
It’s when you want to forget all your manners and say, “Woman, does this face look as if it wants to talk to you right now?”
haha! Hey, you know I’m a nice person, but I seriously want to punch her in the face. I drop my volume way down and show no expression, hoping that she’ll get a clue – but so far, no luck.
She believes the perk will over come the silence. She’s SO wrong.
Perk can never overcome silence. If there’s something
I’ve learned in 50 years, it’s that.
Well okay here it comes…umm did you say huge breasts?……………………………….oh sorry, I kinda got lost there…where was I?…oh yeah I need to insert an insightful, witty, bordering on intellectual reply here…uhhh big breasts you say?
Sorry Mr. Faulkner and I are going out for breakfast…I’ll get back to you.
🙂
Be encouraged!
hahahaha!
Perky girls are fun from a distance. They’re usually overcompensating for how angry they really are. Send her my way. I have a knack for killing happiness.
LOL!!! That’s good to know, Tim. Yeah, the best I can do is act grumpy and disturbed and it still doesn’t seems to get through to her.
Just a few observations on your perky, I mean, whiny Wednesday:
All the men stopped at large breasts. This has a hypnotic effect on us.
[Note to Brother Jon: get with the program.]
I am all for non-perky, robotic, efficient service at 6 am. Just give me my damn coffee and let me stare at your breasts, thank you. Stop talking, new gal, I’m not listening to anything you’re saying.
I knew I could count on you for some grumpy advice. I’ll just leave off, “Let me stare at your breasts.” I’m afraid if I left that part in she might pour coffee on my head.
Welp, now everyone knows how crazy you are. Now everyone knows where I get my crazy from. She does this every morning, guys! EVERY MORNING!
tee hee
But seriously, sleep in. And avoid scary/happy lady. No one should ever be THAT happy.
hahah! She seriously makes me hostile and no matter how low key I am she continues with the friendly happy banter. Ugh! Madame weebles thinks she ought o be tasered – I think she’s right.
‘Am I scaring you yet?’ — hahahaha! Thanks for the laugh — I like it when you’re cranky! I could totally visualize the whole scene the way you wrote it, with the too chipper stepford wife waitress and everything. Yes, this gave me a good laugh. I like the way you had to counter the cheerfulness by being even more sullen.
Lol! When somebody is so over the top happy I have to add a little ballast to the situation. It makes me really grouchy! In her case, because she’s so oblivious, I want to shake her by the shoulders and scream at her to STOP! See, you and I are like twins! : ) hahah!
ahh I love you even more my equally routined friend. One question– are you up and all showered and beautified at 6am? or do you go out in sweats and sneakers?
No coffee? just juice?
I am extremely routined and up usually by 4:30am every day. and am really cranky at any kind of conversation/niceties. DOWN WITH PERKY
I knew I loved you! You are a kindred spirit, Audra.
I’m in the parking lot when they open the doors at 6:00 which means I leave my house at 5:50ish. It takes me less than 5 minutes to throw on an elastic waist skirt and a blouse so I look okay. I shower at night, so I just roll out of bed and go. I brush my hair and put lipstick on in the car. That’s all it takes to pull off the big deception! haha! Otherwise, on the weekend I go looking sort of ratty.
I hate perky and fake friendly. That cashier needs to tone it way down or one of the regulars might punch her in the face! (and it might be me!) haha!
mmm I bet you are never ratty. I had to smile at the lipstick in the car.. I don’t think I have ever owned a tube of liptstick. (or a skirt)haaa
I would be in a baseball hat and jeans wearing a scowl. Would you still eat with me? I am not perky or fake.. real deal baby.
Hey, you need to know that the elastic waist skirt and blouse might as well be pajamas. The fact that it takes me less than 5 minutes to roll out of bed and be on the road should tell you everything you need to know. I look down right homeless. If not for the lipstick I’d look sickly. Would you eat with me, is a better question – no shower and obviously I don’t brush my teeth till I return home.
Hell yeah, I’d eat with you. We could rock the early morning scowl. : )
What about you? Juice, no coffee? Sweats and sneakers?
coffee runs in my veins…
haha!
Groundhog Day and Twilight Zone – too funny. Loved this post.
Haha! Thanks, I’m glad you got a laugh : )
I think you should solemnly explain to her you have a R.E.D. – Repetitive Eating Disorder, and as a consequence, it makes you uncomfortable when people keep asking you how you feel about food.
We have a cashier at the local mexican restaurant near us that is frightening. Her nails are claws (sparkly claws), she shaves her eyebrows so she can draw them about 3 inches above where they should be and then paints the space btwn her eyes and her ‘eyebrows’ bright blue. Then she outlines her lips in a dark color and uses a horrifying color for blush. She frightens small children. And seniors. And those inbetween.
ahahaha! She sounds like a fright. What are these women thinking when they look in the mirror? What about that look says, “Natural Beauty?” I seriously would fantasize about scrubbing her clean and giving her an extreme makeover. LOL!
Yeah, I definitely have R.E.D. Good one! Speaking of which, don’t you hate it when waiters see that you’ve eaten everything on your plate and feel the need to make a comment like, “Wow! looks like you really enjoyed that!” I just want to smack them. How totally rude! Do people really need that kind of attention drawn to their eating habits? SHUT UP! haha!
I agree – I also avoid buffets b/c I’m sure people are looking at me and counting the times I go up…
I had a waiter suggest I ‘skip the dessert’ once (I was about 60 lbs heavier but still…I was horrified and humiliated).
I worked with someone that also would say things like “Wow – that’s a big salad – how do you eat all that?” … um – with my mouth…
LOL! I think it shows such a lack of awareness. I’ve had waiters say stuff like that to me, as well. How do they know if you’re coming off a 3 day fast? They don’t! The other day, I was out to dinner and ordered a baked potato with the sour cream on the side. The waiter came to the table with a bowl of sour cream and asked me how many scoops I wanted. REALLY? What if I wanted the whole dang bowl? It causes you to say, “Oh, just one scoop – that’s plenty.” It really made me crazy. I told him I had never in my life had somebody dole out food by the spoonful in front of the table – except for pepper! haha! It was a really expensive restaurant, too! You think maybe they could just put a little side of sour cream on your plate like most restaurants do? Sheesh!
I absolutely loathe when new cashiers/bartenders/servers join forces with MY places. It’s like I want to say, “what are YOU doing here”. This is MY continent store/bar/restaurant. Then again, some of my frequented venues’ cashiers never really had a liking for me either… or so I thought.
Hey Becca, that’s exactly how I feel! Like, “Who gave you permission to enter my realm?” haha! Any person that disrupts my routine makes me cranky. I’m actually a nice person, so obviously all of this goes on inside my head. LOL!
Yeah, who knows what they think of me? Good point. : )
Who cares what they think of you. You were there first! 😉
Sometimes, people can be so unbelievably annoying :).
Yeah, she has no self or social awareness.
I love getting a glimpse inside the real Grippy! First off, I have to say I see where Lily gets her writing talent from. And I LOVE Lily’s word “welp” ! Just love that so much!
Ok, now down to whiney business: First of all, I could never get up at 5:50, and I am in total and complete awe about that! That’s wonderful and amazing. And I feel like I should start going out to breakfast every morning too — I’ll have to scope out some places first, maybe hide behind a plant to see if I can ascertain the perkiness of the cashier because a full blast of perky that early (or at anytime really) is enough to make me want to get out my wooden stake.
I don’t know if it’s just a California thing, but the girls out here who are working in a “register” capacity take on a fake high pitched tone and talk really loud. My daughters can do such a good impersonation of it. It’s truly laughable. I don’t know why they think it makes them appear anything but ridiculous!
Welp, I sure loved this post! 😀
The early morning thing is sort of crazy but it’s just the way I’m wired. No alarm clock needed! The down side is that by 3:00 I’m starting wind down, and by “wind down” I mean fall asleep! Haha!
Yeah, the new cashier is so clueless, like, “look around, does it seem like I need perky at this hour of the day?” Sheesh! The stuff she says is so phony and scripted! Haha! It is laughable!
Welp, I’m always glad when you drop by, Linda! Thanks for being my blogging buddy. : )
Welp,I love being your blogging buddy!!!!
Hahah, really made my day! The way you explained everything, ah, hilarious read!
I’m glad you liked it! Sometimes everyday occurrences have a hidden comic value!
I’m never sure if my humor comes across so I appreciate your comment.
: )
And your humor always has substance to it too!
Aww… Thanks, friend!
It definitely does! 🙂
Yeah, it should permananetly be open season on excesssively perky morning people.
Yeah, she’s really got nerve, right?