Obligations and Responsibilities…
W E E K E N D P O T P O U R R I
I feel compelled today to write about my self inflicted sense of obligation. I often feel an irrational responsibility toward others. It’s a burden being so kind and wonderful. Perhaps I’m too much of a softy? Here’re some examples that you might be able to relate to.
HAIR STYLISTS
Just a little off the shoulders please.
At one time I had established a very friendly rapport with my hair stylist, she even gave me her cell phone number. But then I started to notice that every time I had an appointment she would dump all of her issues on me. I knew every thing about her dysfunctional family and work environment. I was leaving each time feeling extra heavy and burdened, not exactly my idea of getting pampered. I wanted to stop seeing her but wasn’t sure how to break away? I decided to make fewer appointments and when I finally stopped going to her altogether, she phoned me at home to ask why I hadn’t been in? I told her I was traveling a lot and getting my hair done during these times. Awkward : /
This scenario, breaking away from certain long standing businesses, is very difficult. It can happen with Dentists and Doctors, Nail Technicians, chiropractors, lawn care people, babysitters, etc. I hate having to deal with these issues.
GIRL SCOUT COOKIES
I need boxes of cookies like a hole in the head. I’m still trying to shed the weight I gained from the last shipment. And yet when my friend’s children ask me to buy cookies I feel it’s my duty to stock up on Thin Mints and Tagalongs. I was also told, after I placed my order, that I could also buy cookies for the soldiers. Oh-k a y… guess I’ll buy some cookies for our troops, too. Actually, that was sort of fun. I like to picture them eating Samoas, Do-si-dos, and shortbread on the battle field.
I’m all for being charitable. But I want to give my money to MY CHARITIES, not necessarily someone else’s. Well, there’s only so much money set aside for these things, right? If I won the lottery it would be different. One year I had three different people ask me to support the lung foundation. I think friends asking friends for money is sort of uncomfortable. I’d rather ask total strangers for money. haha! And while I’m on the subject of charity — there’s something I don’t understand, why do people spend so much money throwing elaborate parties only to ask guests to write checks for their cause? Wouldn’t the money that gets spent on the event be put to better use just giving it directly to the charity? This always bothers me. People go out and spend big bucks on dresses/attire to attend these charities events… what’s wrong with this picture?
SAD LITTLE BUSINESSES
Okay, this kills me every time. Whenever I see someone has opened up a business and it just sits there, empty and waiting, I get so sad. I feel it’s my responsibility to go in and make purchases, and keep them hopeful and happy.
Yes, if you were wondering, I own this exact outfit.
There was a Norwegian store that opened in our village several years ago. I’m sure the owners, who were somewhat older, were so excited at the thought of finally having the business they dreamed of. Unfortunately my town didn’t really seem to have a big need for Norwegian goods. This did not stop my family from making weekly purchases, everything from clogs to Norwegian recipe books, to posters of Fjords. We have a strong Norwegian heritage in our family so why not honor our ancestors? That’s right, we kept ’em in business, at least for a good month or two. My family kept their dreams alive, we carried that business on our backs like we were hiking in the Alps. (Oh wait, that’s Switzerland! You know what I mean…)
So, what’s the moral here? Stay away from people and don’t set a precedent? Give yourself a pep talk and try to approach life in a more rational way? Learn to be a more callous person? OR maybe I just need to stop projecting my ridiculous feelings onto other people — people who probably don’t care one way or the other? : )
I completely know what you mean with the hairstylist thing. I go out of my way to a different Dunkin Donuts because I know my Subway Sandwich Artist hangs out in the one that’s closer to my work while on break. I’d hate for Rudy to see me cheating on him.
Sad Little Business make me feel sad until I realize how delusional they were. Unless you’re building a Walmart it’s probably a bad idea that won’t work.
I know! I hate hiding out and avoiding places because I don’t want to bump into someone. It’s not good.
I feel like even though start up businesses may be delusional, you’re right about that, that they have a little dream : (
I did a lol at the Dunkin Donuts bit.
No, you keep on doing what you’re doing, much as it’s a drain sometimes. If the world had more people like you – who clearly care for and empathise with others – we’d all be in a much better place! Except re the hairdresser, that is sacred time for us ladies! Bin her. Ha!
Haha! Thanks! That’s good advice. Very kind, indeed. The hair stylist, well, you know, that’s my time to recharge and refresh — so maybe parting ways was a good thing?
Lol about giving the soldiers cookies. Do they really need cookies? No. I actually love saying “no” to people. I usually never have a reason to decline anything from my friends or family, so saying no to strangers and little kids that want me to buy cookies outside of the grocery store is kind of a release for me.
The Norwegian Store was the saddest. It’s better to just go to Norway or the Norway store in Epcot. Have you ever driven by the Polish Deli/Polish Buffet next to Wal-Mart? SO SAD.
Basically, people need to learn not to introduce European cultures into our suburban town.
Hahahahaha! The polish deli buffet is so third world and sad : (
I know, I wish people would have a better business plan before they start these things! Don’t they know that I’m gonna have to look for reasons to shop there?
Yeah, girl scout Thin Mints will be the death of me. Once you start these things then people always come back, year after year.
Do we need soldiers getting fat while they’re trying to fight a war? It freaks me out children trying to sell grown ups cookies for cash, they shouldn’t be working at that age. Play with a Barbie and shut the hell up
Hahaha! Good one, Pete. What are they trying to teach these kids anyway, how to pressure people into buying cookies they don’t want or need? They should be playing with Barbie! lol!
Nothing is quite as manipulative as having a child look up at you with those sad eyes, “More, sir.” Oh wait, that’s Oliver Twist! haha!
Off to another charity event this evening. I hate these sort of things. I relate to everything you said, “A Gripping Life.” You write it so well. A gift for words you have my friend. My mother, when she lived in St. George, made nice with Tiffany the hair stylist. We ALL went to Tiffany when we came to town. Tiffany came late one time to Elizabeth’s hair appointment. All Elizabeth wanted was a trim on the ends. Tiffany asked Elizabeth 2x what she wanted to have done with her hair. Tiffany had taken a trip with the pill bottle. Pills and Tiffany became one and the same. But…because my mom had made nice with Lady Tiffany, (gone to her wedding, etc.) my mom just kept going. We have an inside joke about Tiffany in our house. I think my mom loved the motherly control she had over Tiffany. I’ll listen to you Tiffany…I’ll be the cool ’70 year old mom…and…my little family from Milwaukee paid the price.
LOL!!! I can really picture this whole thing. No good ever comes from ‘making nice’ with a hair stylist. It’s not a science, after all, it’s an art and sometimes that art becomes, should we say, a little surreal? haha!
Hi,
I think you did the right thing about the hair stylist, it’s one thing to be friendly with people we meet in that situation, but you don’t want to get mixed up with their family problems every time you want to get to your hair done. I was shocked when I read she rang you up. I agree an awkward situation.
I have no problem saying no to cookies. I haven’t had friends kids ask me to buy anything for years, because they know what the answer will be. 🙂
Yes, it was awkward. I hate having to dodge people and make up lies to avoid situations. The unfortunate thing is, I really liked the way she did my hair! haha!
Everyone seems to be so much more assertive than I am. I guess once you start saying “no” it gets easier?
I don’t think it’s possible to have to many girl scout cookies.
Just sayin…
I also have no problem just changing to new providers and passing it off with a “Well, you know…” when I run into the old ones.
Bartenders are the only relationships that I’m finicky about.
I’ll try the “Well, you know…” routine and check back with you. Something tells me guys can get away with that but not women? We’re too specific and chatty.
Girl Scout cookies are just another obstacle on my quest to getting in shape. I can eat a whole sleeve of thin mints in one sitting. I’m just saying…
Whew…so I’m not the only one.. Damn, thought I was the only marshmallow in town..(lol)..
Loved your retelling of what many of us fall victim to..
I am proud to say I actually bought NO GS Cookies this year..walked right past that stand outside the market.. (did feel a tad guilty)
I figured I couldn’t be the only softy in the group! I’m glad you enjoyed it. Walking past the Girl scout cookies takes all of my strength – probably why I haven’t been able to do it!! haha!
That stylists anecdote is fantastic, it’s such a typical woman’s dilemma. It’s that sort of thing that makes me glad I can just shave my own head instead of paying someone else to do it and chat nonsense the entire time.
I reckon soldiers would be better off with more bullets.
It’s true. Women are way too talkative for their own good. I go for the pampering as much as anything, I just want to feel good. She would be smart to just tell her customers how beautiful they are. That would keep them coming back. Haha!
Selling cookies for soldiers is bizarre??? Do they really need the girl scout brand?
I totally and completely relate! I’ve even gone so far as to consider moving every two years! I’ve had hair dressers that completely wear me out! And they get so involved in their stories that my hair didn’t turn out so good either. It was the worst when my kids were little. All the candy I bought from their friends, rides to and from the mall. One little girl ate dinner at our house every single nite for a year AND I helped her with her homework. Yes, she didn’t have a very stable home life but you’d think I would have been better at setting a few boundaries! LOL I’m just a sucker from way back Lisa! 🙂 I really enjoy your writing and your topics!
Lol! I can always tell when a hair dresser is getting too engrossed in his or her story because the customer’s hair looks like crap! haha!
I know, I can’t say “NO” either. I would’ve done the same thing with that little girl. The fact that you helped her with her homework too! Lol!
If I see someone walking around with no shoes, I make up a whole back story as to how and why they have no shoes. I’m probably wrong 98% of the time. I just imagine the worst case scenario! ha!
You can hop aboard my train of crazy thoughts and ramblings any time. I, likewise, enjoy your comments and your smart and silly posts, as well!
I guess we were born writers. I come home from the grocery store with stories galore to tell 37! Talk about back stories! Isn’t it nice that we have blogs and can indulge our imaginations! I have a feeling 37 pretty grateful for my blog. I think I used to talk his ear off. Now if he wants to know what’s going he can read my blog at his leisure.
Just finished my most recent Girl Scout cookie purchase. They were good, but I know that I wouldn’t have bought/eaten them if they were for sale at the grocery store. Darn those cookies! I also feel like I need to support new, small local businesses. I have tons of scrap-booking stuff to prove it. However, I do not have an outfit like yours above. I may have settled on the shoes instead!
Lol! The little start up businesses kill me. Seinfeld did a similar sort of episode where he gave advice to some failing restaurant and then they ended up going out of business! haha! It makes me sad for some reason. I feel responsible. I can imagine what it would be like to wait for people to walk through your door all day. Of course I’m going to visit and buy something! : )
Those darn thin mints are going to be the death of me. You’re right, if they were in the store I wouldn’t buy them.